


You'll Live Without It

by HyperionHero



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mutual Pining, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Self-Denial, Slow Burn, bottom yuri, these boys are sad, top otabek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-19 23:01:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9464393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperionHero/pseuds/HyperionHero
Summary: "Yuri smirks, thumbing the material of Otabek's hoodie underneath his team Russia jacket. When he catches himself smiling he blushes and pulls his hand back to his phone. It's fine, he tells himself. Friends totally wear each other's clothes..."Yuri Plisetsky is surrounded by love. It's like a sickness, claiming his friends, his rivals, the attention of everyone he knows. He avoids it at all costs... but what Yuri doesn't know is that love has a knack of sneaking up on people. Sometimes it brews for years, right under your nose, and you don't notice it until it's staring you in the face - taking the form of a stoic Kazakhstani man bound in leather.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The POV will be more consistent in future chapters (one character per chapter). I hope you guys like this, I couldn't hold in my need to play around with these beautifully crafted characters any longer. 
> 
> Here goes nothing.

Three years have passed since Yuri took the gold at his GPF senior debut. In these three years he has decided three things for sure.

 

1\. He never wants to quit skating.

2\. He never wants to witness Viktor and Yuuri kiss again.

3\. He never wants to fall in love. 

 

Unfortunately, the first two are unavoidable. He'll see about the third.

 

* * *

 

"Yuratchka!" Yakov's voice pierces the silence.

Yuri has learnt to ignore his coach's scoldings by now. He continues to read the message on his screen.

**Yuuri 8:15**

**We can't wait to see everyone!**

His eyes follow as the next message pops up.

**Phichit 8:16**

**It's been way too long!**

Yuri scoffs. Only a few weeks have passed since the season ended. It hasn't been long enough. And he can't figure out why these assholes insist on punctuating every single message with a damn exclamation mark. He watches as the small icons appear, indicating who has seen the messages. He waits a whole five minutes before the dark silhouetted photo of Otabek appears. At least he isn't the only one trapped in this damn stupid group chat. The title alone makes him want to barf. 'Katsuki-Nikiforov Wedding', followed by way too many heart emojis.

He swipes his thumb across the screen, returning to his conversation with Otabek.

**Otabek 8:17**

**What time is your flight?**

**Yuri 8:17**

**10**

**Yuri 8:18**

**Fuck knows when I'll arrive in Hasetsu.**

**Otabek 8:18**

**Don't forget my hoodie**

Yuri smirks, thumbing the material of Otabek's hoodie underneath his team Russia jacket. When he catches himself smiling he blushes and pulls his hand back to his phone. It's fine, he tells himself. Friends totally wear each other's clothes. He's sure Viktor and Chris share an entire closet between them.

**Yuri 8:18**

**I won't. See ya**

"Yuratchka!" Lilia screams. "The taxi is here. Do you want to miss your flight?"

Yuri scowls, grabbing his luggage and heading out. Just before he reaches the door his phone buzzes again.

**Otabek 8:20**

**Yura**

**Yuri 8:20**

**?**

He watches his screen intently as he waits for the reply. Why are his hands shaking?

**Otabek 8:21**

**Be safe**

 

* * *

 

Otabek arrives in Hasetsu feeling utterly exhausted. Sure Japan is nice, the blossoms of the trees are nice and Yu-topia is nice. But all he wants to do right now is lay down in his favourite hoodie and sleep. He is greeted at the door by whom he vaguely remembers as Yuuri's sister, Mari, and is shown to a free room. 

"Viktor covered the expenses to close Yu-topia so we could house the guests this week, but still..." Mari taps her foot like she has something to add. "It's pretty cramped and a lot of people are sharing rooms, so Yurio will have to stay in here too. You guys are friends, right?" 

Otabek nods. 

"Make yourself comfortable. Everyone's mostly settled in so feel free to go talk to the others after you've rested" she stands at the doorway after setting down his bags on one of the twin beds. 

"Thank you" Otabek nods. And then he's left alone.

The room is tiny, but he doesn't mind. He even thinks he might prefer this to one of the larger lodgings. He appreciates the feeling of being closed in, it makes him feel safe, but he just knows that Yuri will kick up a storm when he arrives. For that reason he takes the bed on the right side, seeing as the dresser sits at the end of it. Yuri will feel more at ease then, having the side with more space. At least he hopes. 

Dinner is more than awkward. At least, for Otabek, that is. Yuuri and Viktor feed each other in a way that makes him smile. The display of affection doesn't particularly move him, but he can't help chuckle to himself at the thought of how Yuri would react if he were here. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss his friend outside of the competition season. Ever since they met the two had been inseparable, making regular visits to each other's countries when training allowed and forgetting favourable pieces of clothing in each other's homes. He misses that damn hoodie a lot. 

Yuri isn't the only one missing, some more of their friends are scheduled to arrive closer to the wedding. Otabek sighs, checking his phone for the fifth time in the past five minutes. Yuri probably won't get here until early morning. 

Otabek had originally planned to come to Hasetsu a day before the event, but when he heard Yuri was coming a week early he'd jumped at the chance to see his friend sooner. He hadn't put much thought into the decision, which is evident to him now as he listens to Chris rattle on about how great retirement is treating him, and as he tries desperately to avoid being caught in one of Phichit's famous selfies. 

He rushes his food, making haste to get back to his room - but not before bumping into Viktor in the hall.

"Otabek!" Viktor smiles, bringing a hand to his shoulder. "You're going to bed already?"

Otabek nods. "Long day" he adds, knowing Viktor won't be satisfied with just a head nod.

"Hmm" Viktor ponders a thought, putting a finger to his lips. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? We're going to tell competition stories" he smiles despite Otabek's blank expression.

"No thanks" he says as he tries to edge his way past. 

"Ok, then" Viktor sighs, but his smile remains. "Your Yuri should be here soon, I'll tell him not to wake you" 

Otabek's cheeks burn as he turns away. 

 _Your_ Yuri?

 

* * *

 

Yuri stumbles through the door at 2am. He drags his bags through the entryway, greeted by a rather sleepy looking Yuuri. 

"Yurio, hey" Yuuri yawns, gesturing for him to come in.

"No way, I'm not going by that name again" Yuri spits, struggling with his luggage.

Yuuri ignores the comment, guiding him through the resort residence to the door of his room. 

"Otabek's sleeping, don't be loud" he mumbles. 

Viktor appears from behind the door to Yuuri's room at the opposite side of the hall, hair tussled and robe barely covering his bottom half.

"Hi Yurio" he smiles. Yuri doesn't even dignify him with a response, turning and shoving the door to his room open. 

"Yuuri, come back to bed" Viktor whines, reaching an arm out towards his fiancé. 

"Do you need any help?" Yuuri asks.

"I got it. Get lost" Yuri snaps, already sick of the sight of the love birds. 

He steps into the room and lets his bags fall to the ground, proceeding to stumble around in the dark.

"Shit" he growls as he struggles not to knock anything over, slamming the door shut behind himself.

He fumbles for the light switch, fails to find it, then throws himself down on the empty bed.

"Why the fuck do we get such a shitty, tiny room?" He asks, more to himself than to anyone else. 

It was a shitty, tiny room. Between the beds was a space hardly big enough to walk through without getting your legs stuck, and the dresser could only open when the door was shut. Of course Katsudon would save the worst for him, but why did Otabek have to suffer this fate with him? It was going to be a long week. 

"Because you're an asshole" Otabek mumbles, head buried in his pillow.

Yuri flinches, taken back by the sudden response. 

"Shit, I woke you up" he groans, sitting up to remove his jacket.

"Keen observation" Otabek remarks, turning his head to look upon his friend.

Through the darkness Yuri can just about make out that Otabek is shirtless, the cover coming up to his waist and leaving his magnificent back muscles on display. It takes him a moment to pull his eyes away. Obviously he's admiring his friend out of envy. He's just jealous of the other man's upper body definition, nothing weird about that.

"Alright, smartass" 

He pulls Otabek's hoodie over his head, chucking it across the beds. Otabek frowns, grabbing the garment and bringing it to his face.

"Did you just... smell that?" Yuri half-laughs, laying back down.

"Did you wear it all the way here?" 

Yuri doesn't answer, hoping his blush isn't too visible in the dark.

"I see" Otabek smirks.

"Stop smiling like that, it's creepy" Yuri mumbles, turning to face the wall.

Suddenly there's silence.

When Yuri turns back Otabek is wearing the hoodie.

"Yura" he whispers, not looking in Yuri's direction.

"Yes?" 

"I-" he starts, takes an audible breath, then tries again. "I missed you" 

"It's been... five weeks? Six maybe?" Yuri rolls his eyes.

The air grows thick between them, and something inside Yuri stirs.

"I missed you too, Beka" 

 

* * *

 

A sharp ringing sound cuts through the air, thrusting Otabek out of a deep sleep. In his first moments of consciousness he forgets where he is, looking around the cramped room frantically.

"What!?" Yuri yells into his phone.

He proceeds to yell in Russian, Otabek watching on in silence. When he finally hangs up he throws his phone to the other end of the room.

"Baba" he sighs, face planting his pillow.

Otabek grabs the curtain that covers the window by his bed and pulls it back, much to the protest of Yuri.

"What are you doing?" He screeches, leaping across the beds to cover the window again.

"Is it early?" Otabek asks, sitting up and peaking through the gap he managed to keep open.

"It's 5am" Yuri's voice sounds scratchy from sleep. 

Otabek sighs, laying back down. Yuri stares at the wall in silence. A few minutes pass, then Yuri scoots up to Otabek, putting his hands at either side of his head on the mattress and holding himself above the other man.

"Come skating with me" he whispers.

Otabek pulls an unamused face. 

"No"

"Beka" he purs. "I have to go practice. Besides, I need your help with something"

Otabek strains. Having Yuri on top of him like this is... unsettling.

"Fine, stay here with Pork Cudlet Bowl and the other dorks"

Otabek grumbles something resembling a 'fine', turning on his side to escape the intense glare of emerald eyes. Yuri flashes him a rare smile. 

 

* * *

 

When they arrive at Ice Castle Yuri casts his mind back to the humiliation of 'Hot Springs on Ice'. He likes to think he's improved marginally since then. So has Otabek, claiming his first Grand Prix Final gold in the season just passed. Yuri still beams at the memory of Otabek's smile as he took the podium by his side. It was the first time he could remember being truly pleased for someone else's success, despite placing second to him. He had worried the months leading up to the event that competing against each other might strain their friendship, but after his gold win Otabek had hugged him so tight that he'd forgotten any resentment he had built up. 

Yuri feels Otabek's stare burn into the back of his head as he laces his skates on the bench of the changing rooms. He doesn't look up until he feels his presence beside him. He tries not to flinch when warm hands scrape against his scalp, gathering his hair into a bunch at the back of his head. He sits still, revelling in Otabek's touch until he feels the pull of a hair elastic being secured.

"Thanks" he mutters.

Helping Yuri with his hair was a relatively new habit of Otabek's. It started when they were in Russia together the previous year, Otabek watching over him in frustration as he struggled to make a pony tail before practice. He had stormed over, took the elastic from Yuri's hand and ordered him to sit still. He later found out that Otabek had picked up the skill when aiding his younger sister in tying her hair for school. Ever since then Yuri had anticipated the touch of his friend at every practice they had together, and Otabek delivered. 

"Yura... what do you need my help with?" 

Yuri's face twists into a scowl and he looks at the ground. 

"You'll see" 

 

* * *

 

It takes Otabek a while to see. He admires the way Yuri glides on the ice, the way his body contorts. His form is impeccable as usual, and even now with him almost surpassing Otabek in height, he still looks like a ballerina. And then he sees.

Yuri lands on the ice after attempting a triple salchow, a jump he normally wouldn't have to think twice about, and his right leg gives out. He yelps, steadying himself with a single hand on the ice, then looks over at Otabek.

They share a knowing look. There's no way Yuri would fail that jump unless something was wrong.

"What is it?" Otabek asks, closing the gap between them. 

When they meet Yuri grabs Otabek's arm to steady himself, then looks off into an empty space.

"Is it obvious? That something's... wrong?" Yuri asks. His grip tightens.

"Is this what you wanted my help with?" 

Yuri nods, then finally makes eye contact again.

"When did it start?" Otabek queries. His hand subconsciously moves to hold Yuri's wrist.

"Three days ago. Yakov and Lilia haven't noticed yet" he speaks quietly now, and the vulnerability in his eyes makes Otabek squirm. 

"You'd better let me take a look" he says, taking Yuri's hand in his own. "Come on"

They leave the ice and return to the changing rooms, where Otabek kneels in front of Yuri and pulls the material of his trousers up to his knee.

"It hurts here" Yuri guides Otabek's hand to the point of pain on his shin. 

Otabek presses down in different places until he hits a spot that makes Yuri wince. 

"It could be a stress fracture" Otabek says, running a thumb over the skin more gently now. "I sustained one during my senior debut season. They're not too serious, but you have to rest"

Yuri groans, letting his head fall back on his shoulders.

"Don't tell Viktor. Or Yuuri. Don't tell anyone!" His voice comes out in a sudden panic.

Otabek sighs, but when he meets Yuri's eyes all he's met with is fear. It pulls at his heart. 

"Hey" Otabek says, rising to bring a hand to Yuri's shoulder. "I'm not gunna tell anyone" 

Yuri nods, his own hand finding Otabek's and squeezing. 

"But you have to rest. Skating is only going to make it worse, Yura. Besides it could be something more serious" he presses. 

Yuri nods reluctantly, his eyes sparkling ever so slightly with the threat of tears. 

"Yeah, whatever" he grumbles, then reaches his arms around Otabek and holds tight as they stand. Otabek spots him wince as soon as he puts pressure on his leg, and shakes his head.

"I shouldn't have tried the damn salchow" Yuri growls, shame washing over his face as he struggles to walk forward.

Otabek releases a harsh breath, looking away. It's going to be long, damn week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, early update because I can't stop writing this. Hope you enjoy!

When Yuri was a child, he hated being sick. Staring at the walls of his bedroom drove him mad, often to the point of forcing himself to ignore his symptoms. This didn't change as he grew older. He found denial to be a useful form of distraction from his pain.

"Yuri... maybe you should take it easy" Otabek whispers into his ear.

He ignores the shivers that travel up his spine and scowls. There's no way he's going to 'take it easy', whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. He's going to win this race. He is.

"We don't have to do this, Yurio" Yuuri tries to edge his way out of the situation he's gotten himself into. "It's only going to make the loser feel bad"

Yuri shakes his head, eyeing the mark Viktor has drawn in the sand to mark the finish line.

He can't even remember how they got from taking a stroll along the beach front to competitive racing. He doesn't care, he just knows he has to win.

"You said you've gotten faster, now prove it!"

Yuuri sulks, but readies himself to sprint.

"Okay, are you boys ready?" Viktor yells.

They both nod, Otabek standing back with that stupid dull expression on his face again. Did he really think a dumb race was going to damage his leg any further? He'd been resting it the past two da-

"Go!"

He barely has the chance to rip his eyes away from Otabek, stumbling forwards and catching himself at the last second. Yuuri runs ahead, only looking back once to check Yuri hasn't fallen.

He throws everything he has into recovering from the sloppy start and immediately regrets it. His whole right shin ignites with pain, and he struggles to hold back the urge to cry out. Yuuri reaches the finish just seconds before he does. Still, it's enough to make him want to lay down in the sand and die.

"My champion" Viktor smiles, kissing his soon to be husband on the cheek.

Yuri isn't entirely sure whether it's the shooting pain in his leg or the disgusting display of affection, but something makes him keel over and gag.

Otabek jogs to his side, patting his back and pushing the loose strands of hair from his face.

"I told yo-"

"I know Otabek" Yuri cuts him off. He lifts an arm with the intention of swatting him away, but when he feels the leather of Otabek's jacket on his finger tips he grips on instead. "I fucking know"

 

* * *

 

By nightfall Yuri's mood still hasn't improved. The piggy beat him, and it wasn't the first time. He casts his mind back to his second year in the senior division, when he was surpassed not only by JJ, but Yuuri too. Bronze wasn't his colour. The ice tiger of Russia should always be adorned in gold.

He finds a crinkle in his bed sheets and grabs on, clenching his fists till his knuckles turn white. Otabek lays on his own bed holding his phone above his face, black text filling the screen. That bastard. Yuri wishes he could tune out the world the way Otabek does when he reads.

He turns on his mattress, making way more noise than necessary as he flails his legs over to rest on one side.

The silence in the room is deafening.

"Beka"

"Hm?"

The silence resumes. He hadn't actually planned anything to say, he just hoped maybe Otabek's entire personality might suddenly change to accommodate his boredom.

He turns to lay on his back, grabbing his phone to check the time.

**18:27**

He swipes his thumb only to be met with a black screen, and wails with frustration as the battery symbol indicates his phone has just ran out of power. He hurls the stupid device to the other end of the room and flops back down, face first into his pillow.

"Beka?"

"Hm?"

"Do something" he groans.

Otabek stays silent.

Yuri sits up and dives across the gap between their beds.

"What're you reading?" He asks.

When he doesn't get a reply he lays on his side next to Otabek, pulling his arm at an angle so that he can read the screen.

It takes him two lines of text before he gets bored again.

"Do you really want to know, or are you just asking for the sake of it?" Otabek finally speaks.

Yuri waits a moment before responding.

"I want to know"

"It's called 'In Pursuit of a Restful Mind'" he finally pulls his eyes away from the screen to face Yuri. "You would probably benefit from reading it" he adds, the corner of his mouth pulling into a smirk.

It infuriates Yuri when he does that, smiling as if he's just revealed some great punchline to a joke he didn't even know was being told.

He sighs, trying to ignore the feeling of Otabek's body touching his as he lays and stares at the ceiling.

"Read to me" His voice betrays him, coming out shaky and breathless. Was it a weird thing to ask of him? Probably. Could he muster the energy to give a fuck? No.

Otabek's brow creases, taken back by Yuri's request. But after a few beats of silence he returns to looking at his screen.

He fumbles with the first few sentences, given that he has to translate from Kazakh to English for Yuri's benefit, but once he gets into it the words begin to flow eloquently.

Yuri listens in silence. He doesn't take much of the story in, but finds the deep tone of Otabek's voice soothing enough to make him settle. After a short while he begins to nuzzle into Otabek, laying his head on the other man's chest.

It feels... wrong. But right. So right for them to lay like this, for him to hear Otabek's pulse through his chest, speed increasing as he rests his free hand in Yuri's hair and gently strokes the strands between his fingers. But it's wrong, friends don't do this. And that's what they are, isn't it?

So why can't he bring himself to move?

 

* * *

 

When Yuri opens his eyes the bed is cold. He notes Otabek's absence and feels even colder, until he sees the grey hoodie strewn over him and the pillow beneath his head. Otabek did that? He sits up, rubbing sleep from his eyes and takes a moment to breathe in the scent of the garment before throwing it on over his shirt. He decides he doesn't care whether it was left behind for that purpose or not, because he loves the damn thing.

He retrieves his phone from the floor, only to remember the reason he threw it in the first place, and tucks it into his pocket.

When he joins the others in the banquet hall he's met with an unnerving smile from Viktor.

"Yurio! How was your sleep?" He beams, his arm draped around Chris' shoulder as they stare at a laptop screen together.

Yuri looks himself over. Is it that obvious that he was sleeping?

"Um... fine" he mumbles, looking around the room. "Where is everyone?"

_Where is Otabek?_

"They went to get ramen a short while ago, and I think Yuri mentioned something about seeing a movie" Chris explains.

Yuri nods. Still, that really doesn't sound like something Otabek would do. He tries to bring it up in a nonchalant way, but he can already feel his cheeks turning red.

"And Bek-" he stops himself. No way these assholes get to know about their nicknames for each other. "Otabek too?"

Smooth, Yuri.

"No, Otabek left just minutes ago. He didn't say where he was going" Viktor says.

He's still got a dumb smirk on his face, like he knows something Yuri doesn't.

"Are you ok, Yuri?" He continues. "You seem quiet"

"I'm fine" Yuri snaps back a little too fast. "Later, assholes"

He storms out of the room, fighting the heat spreading across his face. Did he push him too far? Is that why he left?

No, the way Otabek touched his hair and held him close... he wanted to be close to Yuri just as much. Or was that just what he was telling himself to justify his actions?

Maybe he just went for a walk, he's not big on social interaction. Yeah, he probably just wanted some time to himself.

_Or away from you._

 

* * *

 

He didn't see Otabek for the rest of the night, and he wasn't there when he woke up the next morning. So yes, Yuri has now confirmed in his head that Otabek is avoiding him.

He fumbles with his phone at the dinner table, trying to word his message without coming on too strong. Despite his solid presence, Yuri can't help but compare Otabek's temperament to that of a bird. Easily threatened, but with enough patience trust can be built. Had he been patient enough?

**Yuri 13:20  
The losers are dragging me to a restaurant later...**

**Otabek 13:21 (seen)**

Yuri cringes.

**Yuri 13:22  
We're leaving at 6 if you want to come**

_Please come._

A hand on his shoulder breaks him from the obsessive checking and re-checking of his phone.

"Yurio" Yuuri smiles. God he had a dumb smile. "Can you help me with the dishes?"

"Can't your fiancé help you with that?" Yuri snarks, pulling his shoulder out of Yuuri's grasp.

Yuuri's lips harden into a line and he shakes his head. " _Yurio_ " he repeats. Something about his tone makes Yuri shift from his seat.

 

* * *

 

It doesn't take long to clear the table, and he's still trying to figure out why Yuuri was so insistent that it be just the two of them that cleaned up today.

When he turns to leave Yuuri stops him, his hand brushing Yuri's arm.

He wants to talk about something. Great.

If he's expecting some kind of emotional heart to heart he's going to be sorely disappointed, things hadn't gotten so bad that he needed to confide in Katsudon.

"Just spit it out already"

Yuuri's eyes widen and he forces a nervous cough. As far as he's come with his confidence in the past few years, there are still moments where glimpses of the old Yuuri seep through the cracks and make Yuri want to barf.

"Is Otabek not joining us tonight?"

Yuri shrugs. "How the fuck would I know?"

"He's your friend. I assumed you'd have asked him"

Yuuri's attempt to sound casual is embarrassing to witness.

"Yeah, so? Viktor is m-"

Uh oh. What he meant to say was: Viktor is my friend and you don't see me hounding his ass every second of every day. My _friend_. He shivers at the idea.

Yuuri smiles an awful smile.

"What?" Yuri growls.

"Nothing" He's still pulling that fucking face.

"Whatever, are we done talking yet?" Yuri tries and fails not to raise his voice.

"You know... whatever you're feeling, it's ok-"

"Woah" Yuri shrieks, lifting his hands in defence. "I'm not _feeling_ anything!"

And even if he is, he sure as hell wouldn't tell that to Pork Cudlet Bowl.

"Who told you I- I was-" he struggles, then clenches his fists. "You don't know shit about anything, just keep your damn mouth shut!"

Mari enters just in time to save Yuuri from the sea of insults that were lying on the tip of Yuri's tongue.

"Hey!" She grabs his shoulder, pulling him towards the entrance to the kitchen. "I think you need to go cool off for a while" she speaks sternly, in the way only a protective sibling can.

"Gladly!" Yuri yells. He slams the door shut behind him as he heads out of the resort, jogging down the stone steps.

Yuuri doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. Still, how did he even pick up on... whatever was going on with him. It was like he knew. Like he was trying to give Yuri some sort of closure.

Asshole.

He turns the corner swiftly, slamming face first into the leather clad shoulder of Otabek fucking Altin.

They both gape at each other for a minute, the early Spring heat making the air clammy and the tension between them making it so much worse.

"Yuri" Otabek mouths, but nothing follows.

Yuri clenches his teeth. He can feel his pulse racing in his ears, rage still seething just below the surface.

"Why didn't you answer me?" He asks, and Otabek immediately looks away. A few seconds pass and Yuri feels his fists burning. He wants to hit something. "Well?!"

"I needed some time to think, Yuri" Otabek replies in an irritatingly calm voice.

"Think about what?"

"Stuff, Yura, I don't know what to tell you" 

"What _stuff_? Because if it's about me you better not think about it anymore" Yuri growls. "I don't know what's been... going on here. But it ends now, I wasn't sending any fucking signals, an-"

"Not everything is about you, Yuri!" Otabek booms, clenching his fists tight.

Yuri blinks. This is the first time he's ever seen him like this.

They stay silent, both radiating heat as they heave breaths in and out.

"Fuck _you_ " Yuri says, because he's not sure he can manage much more than that without tearing up.

Otabek sighs and there's a sudden shift in his demeanour.

"Fuck you, too" Otabek talks under his breath as he grabs Yuri's shoulders and drags him into a close embrace. "You asshole" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support I've received so far, you guys are too kind. 
> 
> I was thinking about including links to some songs I listen to while writing in the notes of future chapters if you'd be interested in that?
> 
> If you want to ask anything feel free to comment or contact me on twitter @xgrimesrick
> 
> Keep it real.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support as usual. Writing this fic is actually a great break from college work and ia really helping my focus, so it means a lot that people are enjoying it :') 
> 
> This chapter is dear to my heart as I had to draw on some personal feelings to write it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

_Otabek circles his fingers on Yuri's scalp. He's barely been reading for 10 minutes before Yuri falls asleep. He smiles to himself, putting down his phone and using his newly freed hand to hold Yuri's wrist. When Yuri sleeps he looks different, peaceful, and Otabek wants to treasure every detail whilst he can. The way he breathes is soft, but every now and then he stirs, scrunches his nose and grips onto him a little tighter. It makes Otabek's heart race._

_He feels his eyes drifting closed. The more he fights it, the harder it seems to be for him to stay awake._

_When he opens them again, Yuri is still sprawled across him. He hears fuss in the hall and remembers Yuuri mentioning something about Guang Hong and Leo being scheduled to arrive today. Great, more people._

_He twists onto his side with the intention of getting more sleep, but just as he settles and pushes his fingers through Yuri's hair the door swings open._

_He has no idea how Yuri doesn't wake up because it's pretty damn loud._

_Yuuri stares at them with wide eyes, a soft blush casting across his cheeks._

_"Sorry. Um..." he mumbles, looking back and forth between Yuri's sleeping form and the hand that was just tangled in his hair. "I should've knocked"_

_As Otabek sits up, Viktor appears over Yuuri's shoulder. A smile lights his face and makes Otabek feel queasy._

_"Oh, sorry Otabek!"_

 

* * *

 

It's awkward after the hug.

Otabek curses himself for his rash actions. He should've stood by what he said, because Yuri needed to be put in his place. And yes, not everything is about Yuri, but this kind of _is_. It's about himself too. About the god forsaken feeling of creeping heat that spreads through his body every time Yuri is close.

He doesn't regret reading to him, in fact he treasures the memory in his mind. The way the light from the window shone through and caught Yuri's face, highlighting his features. The way his golden locks felt between Otabek's fingers as he stroked his hair and barley paid any attention to the words he was reeling off.

He has... feelings.

Feelings of nerves sparking every time they touch, even if just for a second, and feelings of nausea when Yuri said those damned words.

_It ends now._

He doesn't really know what 'it' is, but he knows he needs Yuri close.

He doesn't want it to be awkward, but it is.

 

* * *

 

When they arrive it's dark out, lights from the front of the restaurant standing out as the only place open on the street. There's greenery around the entrance, a tree reaching up to press against the wooden-barred windows on the first floor. It looks traditional, expensive, but Viktor's paying so he sees no reason to argue. The building reminds him of Yu-topia, but he's gradually began to notice the differences in Japanese architecture. This structure in particular has more dark wood, creating an appealing contrast between the pillars of the canopy that's covering the door, and the pale-cream stone walls.

He had stayed silent the entire ride here, but Yuri had still stood in front of him, their faces getting a little too close every time the train rocked back and forth.

He'd wanted to say something. He'd wanted to say everything. But they were surrounded by people, and he's pretty sure Yuri wouldn't have appreciated being questioned about his feelings in public.

It's times like these that he really misses the solitude his bike provides.

After they're seated tensions seem to die down a little. He's actually surprised at how calm Yuri seems, but maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe that means he's fine with how things are. That he really meant what he said.

He shouldn't have left, he realises that now, but being around Viktor and Yuuri after what they saw was a little too much. Besides, he's still getting accustomed to being around so many people.

Leo and Guang Hong tell funny stories whilst they eat. They fill everyone in on the first time they saw Viktor and Yuuri together, much to the delight of Viktor.

"You should tell that story at the wedding!" He says, Yuuri smiling by his side.

"Sure, we'd love to" Leo says, then puts a hand on his friend's knee and they grin.

Yuri hasn't spoke once, but Otabek can tell he's listening by the occasional scowls and tuts.

"As long as you don't try to pull the spotlight away from me, I've got some fascinating stories from Viktor's past that I can't wait to share" Chris smirks, nudging Yuuri's arm. "He wasn't always so smooth, you know?"

For the first time in his life, Otabek sees Viktor look nervous. He shoots Chris a look, but they both laugh it off.

The chatter is interrupted by a harsh ringing sound. A few of them fumble around in coats and pockets until Yuri finally pulls his phone from his jacket. He takes off without warning, heading towards the bathrooms.

Otabek tries not to think about it too much. He's probably just assuring Yakov everything is fine. Still... he hasn't told anyone about his injury yet.

"Otabek?" Phichit smiles.

He realises the conversation has moved on since he watched Yuri leave.

"Hm?"

"What are you wearing for the wedding? Most of us have some blue in our suits to match the colour theme" he beams.

Shit, suits. Somehow the notion of bringing something to wear to the wedding had completely escaped his mind.

"Um-" he starts, but Viktor interrupts.

"It's okay, I'm taking Yurio to get fitted for something tomorrow since he didn't bring anything. You can come too!"

Otabek nods his approval.

"Only one day left, are you excited Yuuri?" Chris asks.

Otabek lets their voices fade out, returning to his own thoughts.

When Yuri returns no one takes much notice. He sits down in silence, but doesn't touch his food. In fact, he just stares straight ahead not doing much of anything.

"Yuri, Otabek will be coming along with us to get suits for the wedding, won't that be fun!"

Yuri nods, briefly turning his head to look at Otabek. There's something off in his eyes. There's a little redness around the edges as if he's been furiously rubbing at them, but there's something else too. He looks like he's about to cry.

He doesn't cry, but he continues to stay quiet. Otabek wants nothing more than to ask him if he's okay, but doesn't want to draw attention.

He finds that the situation seems to resolve itself when Yuri seeks his comfort, placing his trembling hand over Otabek's between their seats.

Otabek's heart almost stops right there and then. Yuri's thumb brushes over his own, then Otabek moves to close his larger hand over Yuri's and squeeze. Whilst Yuri still looks distressed, he notices an aura of peace wash over his body.

They hold onto each other's hands for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

The closest 'acceptable' - as Viktor puts it - place to get fitted for suits is an hour's train journey away, in Saga-shi. After a frustrating hour of listening to Viktor rant to Phichit and Yuuri, whom had tagged along to go shopping, about the wedding and Japanese traditions and god knows what else, they finally arrive in the city.

It doesn't take long to find the tailors. It's a small store, but one Otabek assumes is of high quality when he sees the price tags. It's still awkward between him and Yuri, despite the hand-holding, and despite Yuri stealing his hoodie to sleep in the night before. After fumbling with different materials and basically standing by while Viktor made all the decisions, Otabek is given a suit to try on.

The material is a dark grey, soft to the touch and paired with a deep blue shirt. He struggles with the waist coat, but eventually manages to dress himself and takes a look in the mirror of his changing room stall. He looks mature, more so than he usually does. Viktor really has an eye for this sort of thing.

A light tap at the door alerts him. He spots animal-print shoes at the gap beneath the door and lets Yuri in.

His suit is a bold blue, paired with a crisp white shirt and a red, textured tie. He looks handsome, sure, but not exactly like Yuri.

"I look fucking ridiculous" he sighs, shutting the door behind them.

"You look good" Otabek says, but he can feel a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

"Don't bullshit me, Altin. Why do you get to look hot and I look like a fucking 12 year old?" He shoves his way in front of Otabek's mirror and scowls at his reflection.

"It's only one day"

Yuri scoffs.

Otabek glares at Yuri's shirt, because he hasn't even buttoned it right. He can't hold back his smile now.

"What? You enjoying this?" Yuri snaps.

Otabek shakes his head, reaching his arms around Yuri's shoulders and drawing attention to the buttons.

"You've done this wrong" then pulls the bottom of the shirt out the front to show him where there's a button not grouped with a hole.

Yuri looks mad, but when his eyes meet Otabek's in the mirror he blushes.

They both start to laugh, Yuri tucking the shirt back in and turning to face him.

"Yeah, well I was in a hurry. I just want this thing to be over" Yuri says, but he's still smiling.

There's a tension there, but the awkward feeling has lifted. He wants to ask about the phone call, but he can't bring himself to spoil the light mood.

"Maybe you could wear your team Russia jacket" Otabek says, brushing the shoulders of Yuri's blazer. "Instead of this eyesore. The colours would go nicely"

Yuri nods in agreement, glances at himself once more, then pushes a hand against the door.

He halts, blinking and taking a breath as if he's about to speak, but instead he lets it go.

"Thanks" he utters, and Otabek is not really sure what he was thanked for, but he nods all the same.

 

* * *

 

As it turns out, shopping with Viktor isn't all that agonising. Yes, sometimes he yells for no reason, or gets excitable about things that really don't warrant that much enthusiasm, but his keen eye for other's style is useful. They buy shoes for the wedding, a few bits and pieces from other retailers, all the while dragging Yuri along behind them. At the last stop they finally meet back up with Phichit and Yuuri, getting coffee at a small cafe not too far from the train station.

Viktor fills Yuuri in on the 'dazzling' suits he picked out, then proceeds to inform him of every little thing they had seen or done. Sometimes Otabek wondered if he would ever have that with someone. Where being apart for a few hours feels like an eternity, and every mundane detail about each other's lives is fascinating.

Yuri's mood seems to have lightened, but his eyes still look a little distant. It takes him a while, but Otabek finally works up the courage to reach his hand out, placing it over Yuri's in his lap. Yuri flinches at first, but settles into his touch. For once he wishes he hadn't worn his gloves, just so he could feel more of Yuri's skin against his own.

He swallows, scrunching his free hand into a fist. He can't think about Yuri like this. _It ends now_. But he can't stop himself. And when he strokes his thumb over Yuri's and threads their fingers together, he just can't stop himself. And when he imagines what it would feel like to feel Yuri's skin all over, to feel those damned messy blonde locks wrapped around his fist...

He pulls his hand back to his own lap. He knows it's abrupt, and Yuri is staring at him out the corner of his eyes, but it has to end now. He places his palm flat on the cool marble of the table, takes a deep breath in, and focuses his mind on anything but the man sat by his side.

 

* * *

  

When you go a long time without getting truly close to another person, it's easy to forget how to respond to intimacy. For Otabek, it has been years since he's been this close to someone. Even friendships start to feel scary, but he still remembers the day he reached out to Yuri three years ago. He still remembers why he did it. Because he wanted to feel it again. The awkwardness, the missteps, the tension of being close. Of putting yourself out there and learning to trust. For a long time he chose to be alone. To not share so much of himself, for fear of being rejected. Maybe for fear of being hurt. He wasn't sure the exact reason, just that it was a sort of defence mechanism he hadn't noticed was taking effect. Yuri changed that within him, and he was grateful for it. Utterly terrified with every fibre of his being. But grateful, above all.

He thinks about this as he hides in the Katsuki bathroom, trying very hard not to be bothered. But there's only so many times you can re-wash your hands and he's pretty sure the skin is going to dry out and start to crack if he doesn't let up soon. He lets the cool water run over his face. Still, he burns with anxious tension.

When he finally emerges from the bathroom, there's only one place left to go. Yuri's been in the bedroom for a few hours now, Otabek remaining in the halls and hanging around the others in search of a distraction. He pushes at the door as gently as he can manage.

Please be asleep. Please be asleep. _Please be asleep._

Oh no.

Yuri is laid on his bed, phone cradled between his fingers. The screen is black, but still he's clinging on as if he's waiting for something.

There are tears staining his porcelain cheeks, red creeping into the whites of eyes.

"Yuri?"

Yuri looks at him, then resumes staring at the wall.

"Yuri, what's wrong?" Otabek rushes. He kneels down facing Yuri, just to say fitting in the gap between their beds.

Yuri looks like he's about to speak, then shakes his head and closes his eyes tight.

It's silent for a minute or two. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do.

"Please talk to me" he finally says, his voice sounding hoarse and broken as if he was the one who'd been crying.

Another minute of silence, and then...

"What if-" Yuri starts. Then stops, swallows. Starts again. "What if I don't recover"

Otabek glares at him, dumbfounded by the statement.

"My leg"

Oh.

"What if it never gets better. What if this is the end of skating for me"

Otabek senses a strange apprehension. He feels as though maybe Yuri is just saying this to hide what's really wrong, but he takes the bait anyway.

"Yuri... you know that won't happen. You're the best of the best. That's not going to change"

Yuri blinks, nods, then turns over to face away from him.

"Yura" he reaches out a hand and puts it on Yuri's shoulder.

"What?" He snaps.

"Please" is all he has to say. That's all he has to say to get Yuri to turn back around.

His eyes are glassy.

Otabek can't restrain himself any longer. He rises to his feet, joining Yuri on his bed.

"M-my... my grandpa is-" he whimpers, and Otabek feels a stab of pain in his chest. "He's sick. He's been sick for a while now"

Otabek shuffles closer, coaxing Yuri to come to him. Yuri sits up, crawls across the space between them, and curls up in Otabek's lap like a kitten. He's surprised his heart doesn't actually escape his chest. His pulse rises at the touch, Yuri's fingers latching onto his shirt and his face pressing to Otabek's chest. 

He does the only thing he can manage and holds Yuri tight against him.

"He called to tell me... the doctors, they don't think it looks good. Maybe six months. Maybe a little longer with more medicine" he's full on crying now, tears soaking Otabek's shirt. "But he doesn't want more medicine. He said he just wants to enjoy what time he has left"

"Yura... I'm sorry" Otabek sighs. He leans his head down and nuzzles against Yuri. "I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault, asshole" Yuri scoffs, sniffing and holding onto his waist.

They stay quiet for a while, Otabek trying hard not to let his eyes prickle with tears. 

"I'm sorry" Yuri says, finally lifting his head from Otabek's chest. "What I said... It was bullshit" he refers to the argument. "I didn't mean any of it"

Otabek nods, stroking a few strands of hair back behind Yuri's ear.

"I know, Yura"

He decides it's definitely worth the risk to let people in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you liked!
> 
> Some links you may be interested in:
> 
> A song I listened to a lot whilst writing this chapter - https://youtu.be/90JmMtOaq00
> 
> Otabek's suit inspiration - https://smhttp-ssl-33667.nexcesscdn.net/manual/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/grey-suit-navy-shirt-1.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> Yuri's suit inspiration - https://smhttp-ssl-33667.nexcesscdn.net/manual/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/light-blue-suit-1-800x425.jpg


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long, it's been a super busy week –.– 
> 
> Hope the extra long chapter makes up for the wait!

Yuri pushes his hair from his face, feeling it drip down his back and dampen his shirt. He feels like he should be taking more care, what with his impending doom that is the Katsuki-Nikiforov wedding nearing by the hour, but he just can't find the will to fight it. He closes his eyes tight, reliving the previous night in his mind.

He had sobbed in Otabek's arms. Not even cried, no, what he did could only be described as sobbing. It had taken a while for him to calm down but once he finally did, Otabek had laid with him and whispered stories in his ear. Not one of his books, but this time real stories about Almaty and all the people he'd met during his travels between training rinks, and all the competitions he had competed in. Yuri listened until the sun started to peak behind the curtains, and when Otabek stopped talking it was only because his own exhaustion had caught up with him.

When he returns to their room Otabek is fully dressed, hair combed back and shoes tied. He feels his jaw slack at the sight of him.

"Come here" Otabek says before Yuri has the chance to speak.

When they reach each other Otabek runs his fingers down the material of Yuri's open shirt, brushing the skin with his knuckles, then begins to button it for him.

"I can do that myself, you know" Yuri mouths. It doesn't feel right to talk any louder. Like his voice has the potential to shatter the tension between them.

Otabek continues, then takes his time to tuck the shirt in. He does it gently, but his rough fingers rub the bare skin of Yuri's hips each time he dips them beneath the waistband of his trousers. Yuri flinches a little, pressing his pelvis into Otabek involuntarily.

They both blush, Otabek steadying Yuri with strong hands on his waist.

"I know"

Yuri can't remember how their faces got so close. He can smell Otabek's natural scent, musky and warm, drowning him with lust.

Otabek holds Yuri by his chin.

"Yura" his voice suddenly sounds so vulnerable.

Yuri nods.

Otabek's eyes glisten, jaw tensing with the weight of whatever it is he's holding back.

He moves to touch Yuri's hair, catching a drop of water on the back of his hand as he tucks the loose strands behind his ear.

Yuri can barely breathe. He wants to touch Otabek so badly. He places his palms flat on his chest, thumbs tracing the lining of the grey suit till he reaches the bottom.

"Otabek" he whispers. He wets his lips with his tongue, Otabek's eyes widening.

He lingers, lips just centimetres away from Otabek's. And he's shaking with nerves, because he's pretty sure that friends don't end up in situations like this.

Who the fuck is he trying to convince? His feelings for Otabek have progressed to something much deeper than friendship.

He just wants to close the gap between them.

"Yurio! Otabek! We have to leave for the temple shortly!" Viktor announces, wrapping his knuckles against the door.

Yuri just about explodes, frustration brimming to the surface as he takes a breath and prepares to yell. 

Otabek moves a solitary finger to Yuri's lips, then replies calmly. "we'll be out in five"

When they step back from each other he feels like he's suffocating.

"Are you gunna help me dry my hair, or what?"

He's sure he sees Otabek smirk as he turns away. Asshole. 

 

* * *

 

Something is off about Otabek today. Yuri can sense it. They sit next to each other in the car to the temple, and Otabek's leg trembles the whole way there. He's quiet, which isn't exactly out of the ordinary for him. But his body is quiet too. Usually he gives Yuri little nods or gestures every now and then, sometimes even smiles, but today he is silent.

The temple isn't far from Yu-topia. It's beautiful, and way too classy for Yuuri. The building reminds him of Hasetsu castle, baring the trees that surround it are swimming with bold red leaves rather than gentle pink blossoms. He kicks at some fallen leaves as they walk through the grounds.

"Do you ever think about love, Yurio?" Viktor asks.

He tenses, immediately checking for who's in ear shot. Otabek stands at the far side of the car fiddling with his sleeves, Yuuri's father walking around to greet people.

Besides that, everyone else who has arrived keeps to themselves. It feels like everyone he's ever known is here today, coaches and skaters alike. He had wanted to stay out of the way of Yakov, so he'd took off to explore whilst everyone waited on Katsuki's party to arrive. He didn't anticipate that Viktor would follow.

"Stop calling me that stupid name" he spits, turning to face the other way.

"Do you?"

"No!"

He feels his eyes sting. His lack of sleep is taking effect at the worst possible time. He rubs them with his fingers, then crosses his arms and turns back.

"Why would you even ask me that?"

Viktor smiles, shaking his head. "Denial will only make it worse" he says.

Yuri has no idea what that's supposed to fucking mean. He is relieved when Viktor leaves him with his thoughts.

 

* * *

 

The temple ceremony is bizarre. He seems to be the only one who doesn't know what the fuck is going on, so he tries to play it cool and sticks to Otabek like glue. It's strangely endearing to see Viktor and Yuuri declare their love for one another. Gross, but endearing still. He'd never admit it, but he often admired their bravery in being so open about their feelings with each other, and with the world. It's something he continues to envy deeply to this day. 

It's traditional Shinto to say the least, they even partake in the sake drinking and Yuuri wears the kimono his father had worn to his own wedding, with a few touch ups here and there. It's baby blue with a white hakama, matching Viktor's insanely expensive looking crisp white suit.

Apparently it's fashionable for Japanese weddings to have two ceremonies, one Shinto and one Christian, in this case for the sake of honouring both parties they opt for a church after the temple. He catches Yakov on the way back to the cars and bares through a scolding about practice, but he remains surprisingly calm.

"You're flying home tomorrow, yes?"

"Da"

"You will be expected to resume your training program shortly" he says, then his expression lightens "but we will make time to visit your grandfather"

Yuri nods. His stomach churns, because he still hasn't mentioned anything about his leg. It's been gradually improving through the week, but there's no telling how it will react when back under the pressure of skating again.

Yakov's eyes follow something beyond Yuri, until he feels a hand touch his shoulder.

"They're waiting for us, Yuri" Otabek rubs his shoulder gently, then nods in acknowledgement of Yakov.

They leave without saying another word, Otabek's hand finding his own once they settle in the car.

 

* * *

 

Yuri cries at the second ceremony. He feels dumb, but at least he isn't the only one. Most of Yuuri's family and half the skaters have been in constant streams of tears since the first word, and he's pretty sure he even saw a twitch from Yakov during the vows.

Not Otabek, he stays still and quiet the whole way through.

When he first feels tears gathering he blinks furiously, but they don't stop. He must look stupid as hell. He clears his throat and shakes his head, as if the action with help banish the emotions taking over him. It's not entirely the wedding that causes his tears, and he knows that. It's everything all at once, his injury, his grandpa.

His feelings for Otabek.

The wedding is just what triggers the release, and when Otabek looks at him he cringes hard.

He waits to be prodded or teased, or even worse, to receive sympathy. Instead Otabek looks indifferent and leans down to whisper in his ear.

"I knew you had a heart, Plisetsky"

Yuri shivers at Otabek's hot breath, but ignores the rush of lust. He's sure Otabek notices the shiver because his slight smile is replaced by nervous curiosity.

He leans in an inch closer but hesitates to speak again, breaths against Yuri's skin setting his skin alight. After a few seconds of torture he twitches out of reach, only to find Otabek leaning a hand forwards to touch his face. He uses the back of his gloved hand to wipe away Yuri's tears. Of course. Only Otabek fucking Altin could go from turning him on to such a tender action in the space of a few seconds.

Yuri is extremely thankful that they were seated in the back left corner where they don't draw attention to themselves.

"I believe one groom has something they would like to read" the priest says, bringing his attention back to the front of the hall. Viktor pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. But they already said their vows...

**"I tell myself the same thing**  
**Every morning when I wake.**  
**You'll live without it, love**  
**Is just a brutal pained mistake.**

**I tell myself at sunrise,**  
**When I search for someone's hand.**  
**I tell it to my poor damned heart**  
**When feelings rise that were not planned.**

**I tell myself at dusk,**  
**When your eyes shine like the stars.**  
**I tell myself to stop myself**  
**From making brand new scars.**

**I tell myself a new thing,**  
**When you smile across the bar**  
**You'll live without it, but**  
**You'll only live so far."**

He blinks, rubs his palms on his jacket, lets out a slow breath. He has no idea how Viktor managed it, but it was like everything he has felt in the past week has been stolen from his own heart and put into words. He glares at them, slightly awestruck. Then he looks to Otabek.

His cheeks are burning a deep red Yuri's never seen on his face before, his hands wrapped tight around the sides of his chair.

He wonders if somewhere, maybe deep down, the same feelings have risen in Otabek.

 

* * *

 

As an athlete, Yuri tends not to drink too much. He spent his eighteenth birthday at practice, as he does most days. It's not like he talks to a lot of people back home anyway, and getting drunk with Yakov and Lilia doesn't sound like something he'd enjoy. Drinking just isn't his thing.

Otabek doesn't mind a drink or two, as Yuri discovers at the wedding reception back at a now unrecognisable Yu-topia. The whole resort has been re-decorated for the event at the hands of Minako and the Katsuki family, beautiful arrangements of paper lanterns and fairy lights and fresh blue chrysanthemums giving the halls new life. There's music playing in the banquet hall where most of the guests go after a round of embarrassing speeches and well-wishes. Yuuri's father, Toshiya, holds an open bar and most of the skaters are taking the rare opportunity their training regimes will allow and enjoying themselves.

"Drinking is stupid" Yuri scoffs, eyeing Otabek's glass of some gross-looking brown liquid as they lean against the bar.

Otabek shrugs, face stoic as usual.

"When people get drunk they act like dicks" he continues, pointing to Leo and Guang-Hong who are breaking into hysterical laughter over something that probably isn't funny whatsoever.

"I don't" Otabek says, sipping quietly.

His dark eyes scan the room, Yuri watching on in fascination. Otabek makes drinking look sexy, and he hates him for it.

"Da. We'll see about that in a couple hours" he mutters under his breath.

JJ makes an appearance, ordering himself a drink and sharing a look with Otabek, nodding his head in greeting.

"Not drinking with your boyfriend, kiddo?" JJ smiles a disgusting smile. He gets a second drink of something white and bubbling that Yuri can only assume is intended for his wife.

Yuri struggles to fathom a response, spluttering and tripping on his words. "My- I'm not-"

JJ laughs.

"Don't call me that!" He finally yells, turning his back.

Otabek raises an eyebrow as JJ wanders off. "I assume you're acting like this because you're jealous"

A ridiculous sound expressing Yuri's bewilderment escapes his mouth.

"Because you can't drink when we're in Japan. You're only eighteen"

"I'm almost nineteen" Yuri adds, then realises how childish the remark sounds.

They stand in silence, and he's pissed because Otabek is smiling to himself. And he's pissed because he wants to drink with his friends.

It takes two whole hours before Otabek shows a single sign that he's been drinking, but as soon as he does Yuri takes notice.

First his eyes change. They're a little glassy, not too obvious, but he also moves them slowly now. Usually when they're around each other and he feels the prickle of a stare at his spine he never actually manages to catch his eyes. Now, Otabek is openly staring at Yuri's face and when Yuri looks back he doesn't retreat fast enough, causing way too many cases of awkward eye contact.

Every time it happens Yuri gets a rush, nerves sparking as he dares himself to hold the contact for longer.

He had no idea simply _looking_ at someone could be so exhilarating.

They decide to get some fresh air, Yuri assuring Otabek that if he's forced to see the newly-weds share another kiss he's going to vomit.

Otabek has taken to discarding his blazer and tie, leaving him looking slightly disheveled and somewhat resembling a god. Yuri notes this as he admires him up close. They lean against a fence at the far end of the outdoor hot spring area, Otabek's eyes trained on the horizon. There are so many lights in the garden he can hardly tell that it's dark out.

"What time do you fly tomorrow?" Yuri asks. He's been trying not to acknowledge the fact that they have to leave each other in less than twenty-four hours, but he needs to know so that he can prepare himself.

"I haven't booked a flight" Otabek says, his fingers fiddling with his phone despite not actually using it for anything. "I was just going to get whatever was available when you were departing. I'm in no rush"

Yuri's heart flutters. "Oh"

Otabek asks Yuri to mind his phone while he quickly runs to the bathroom.

The funny thing is, Otabek leaves his phone unlocked when he passes it over. Yuri's sure he can't be that drunk, because he was forming perfectly articulate sentences. But he definitely wouldn't do something like this on purpose either.

His thumb lingers over the message icon. He can feel every ounce of his common sense twitch and scream as he presses it. He doesn't want to be that person. The person who snoops on other people's phones when given the chance. The person who gets so worked up with jealously that they have to know who their... friends are talking to. But he does it, and he smiles when he sees that Otabek mostly just talks to Yuri and his sister. He does, however, have a recent message from Viktor received just last night.

**Viktor 19:57**  
**Thank you for the poem, I'll be sure to give you credit at the ceremony.**

**Otabek 20:03**  
**Actually, could you not mention that I wrote it? I'd rather it stay between me and you.**

**Viktor 20:05**  
**If you say so. Let me know if you change your mind!**

Yuri's hands tremble, a rush of emotions surging through his body. Otabek wrote the poem. The poem that Viktor read, the poem that moved him beyond belief.

The glass doors leading to the gardens slide open, and a now more composed looking Otabek pushes past them. When he reaches Yuri he holds his hand out for his phone, only to be greeted by Yuri's desperately seeking eyes.

Yuri grabs Otabek's open palm, pulling him closer and sliding his phone into the front pocket of his pants.

Otabek's steely gaze breaks, clearly shocked at Yuri's bold actions.

"Yura?" He starts, sounding a tad nervous.

Yuri grabs at Otabek's elbow, pulling his body to his own and leaning up.  
He puts his lips to Otabek's cheek, a mere inch away from the corner of his mouth. He plants one simple, sweet kiss on his skin, then pulls back. His cheeks burn.

Otabek's eyes widen, moving from Yuri's hot cheeks down to his lips.

Gloved fingers grip onto Yuri's jacket, and he finds himself being yanked forwards. Their lips meet with a crash, firmly pressing as they kiss. Yuri feels the air leave his lungs. He can barely keep himself on two feet, leaning into Otabek's mouth and giving him more, open mouthed and needy.

Otabek's kisses are heavenly.

They're eager, perhaps too much at that, because Yuri is leaning into him and pushing them back into open space.

If Otabek were completely sober, he very well may have caught himself. Unfortunately he wasn't. Yuri feels Otabek gasp, losing his footing and dragging them both backwards as they fall.

Today Yuri learns that hot springs are called _hot_ springs for a reason. They make a huge splash as they hit the water, drenching themselves in heat. As they emerge Yuri gasps for breath, shaking free flower petals that had decorated the surface and gotten caught in his hair.

Otabek wipes his eyes, then leans back. The sound that escapes his lungs is so beautiful it tugs at Yuri's heart. Otabek doesn't just giggle, he doubles over, as much as the water they're submerged in allows, and lets free a deep unrestrained laugh.

Once Yuri is over the initial shock of seeing Otabek so gleeful he joins him, letting his laughter consume him as they grip to each other.

When they finally manage to control their breathing, Otabek seals their mouths again.

He's softer this time, thumb tracing Yuri's jaw line and free arm wrapping around his waist. He lifts Yuri to sit on his lap in the water, kissing him tenderly as Yuri wraps his arms around his neck.

When Yuri lets a quiet moan escape between kisses Otabek twitches, pulling back a little.

They stare into each others eyes.

"We should go get dry" Otabek whispers. Yuri nods, arms still wrapped tight around him. When they stand Otabek sighs and shakes his head.

"My fucking phone"

 

* * *

 

They tiptoe by the party to their room easily enough, everyone occupied by the atmosphere and each other's company.

Yuri takes great pleasure in helping Otabek out of his waistcoat and shirt. His hot, clammy skin feels amazing under Yuri's fingers as he rubs his chest.

Otabek yanks Yuri's jacket off, followed quickly by his shirt, then lifts him to wrap his legs around his waist.

Yuri thinks maybe the water helped sober Otabek up because he feels more present as they kiss this time. His movements are precise and deep, earning small moans and gasps from Yuri.

He lays Yuri down on his bed, pressing their bodies together for a moment to try and relieve some of the building pressure between them.

"We-" Otabek starts, but can't help nipping at Yuri's lips just once more. "We should stop" he pants.

Yuri nods in agreement, but doesn't move. He kisses Otabek again, as tenderly as he can manage, then puts his hands on the man's chest to keep him at bay.

"Too soon?" Yuri whispers, and Otabek nods.

"We'll talk about it"

 

Yuri _could_ live without this, but he sure as shit isn't going to anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's wedding kimono: https://kr-aki.co.jp/products/detail.php?product_id=2547
> 
> Viktor's wedding suit: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/6c/f1/d6/6cf1d67fce59900e3f09fb4d028f0d47.jpg
> 
> Song for this chapter: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=anmtXXf88cc
> 
> Thank you for the support! I have the next week off so updates should resume a regular pace now :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait again. College sucks and making time is increasingly difficult, but I will power through!
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than usual because it's kind of a transitioning period, in both location and personal relations. 
> 
> Oh boy, I hope you guys enjoy!

Back home in Almaty Otabek still has analogue clocks around his apartment. He knows it's a little trivial. He has the time on his phone, his PC. Even his fucking microwave has a digital clock on it's little green LED display. But nothing beats the tick of a big old grandfather clock. Every tick a reminder that time moves forward... even when he wishes it would stop.

There's no ticking clocks here, so he stares at his phone screen. He looks back and forth between that and his open suitcase lying on the opposite bed. He's sitting on the far end of the bed by a sleeping Yuri's feet, listening to his soft breathing and wishing he could lay back by his side.

He stole that kiss from Yuri, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. It was amazing, of course. Romantic like those soppy American movies his sister watches with her friends. But deep, and genuine, and possibly the best kiss he's ever taken from someone. But hell, the kisses that came after in their room... those were pure greed and heat. Overwhelming even just to think about.

He didn't mean to take it that far, but when Yuri's hands scraped across his torso he felt something inside him set ablaze. A lust he hasn't felt before, a yearning for the touch of his... Yuri.

"What are you doing?" Yuri asks, sleepy voice breaking Otabek's train of thought.

He doesn't reply.

Instead he closes his eyes and pictures a life where people never have to leave each other. He wonders if maybe he and Yuri were always destined for this. To become more than just friends. Maybe he'd always had these feelings, but they had only just surfaced in the past few weeks. Either way, when he opens his eyes again and looks across the bed his heart feels heavy. 

His peace doesn't last long. Yuri scurries out of his covers and crawls over, wrapping his arms around Otabek's neck and hugging him from the side.

How can he be so fucking adorable at a time like this?

Otabek sighs, stroking Yuri's wrist then shifting and pulling him to lay on his back over his crossed legs. 

Yuri stares up at him, green eyes curious and bright.

"Keep this" Otabek says, fingers running over the soft sleeve of his grey hoodie that Yuri has some how managed to accumulate over night. "I want you to wear it while we're apart"

Yuri's eyes widen with glee, then suddenly darken.

"No" he says, and Otabek frowns. "It doesn't compare to the real thing"

Yuri folds his arms like a spoiled child, tuning his head to look at the suitcase.

They stay quiet, until Otabek finds his hand back in it's favourite place tangled up in Yuri's hair. He tugs gently, coaxing Yuri to look at him, then leans down to steal a firm but tender kiss.

Yuri sits up, pushing into the kiss, then shifts to sit facing Otabek in his lap.

He kisses him again, harder, and brushes the blonde sweeps of hair from his face to get a better sight of him when they part. When Yuri kisses, his lips swell and his chest contracts fast. The sight alone is enough to drive Otabek wild.

He has to control himself. It's too soon. But Yuri is teasing, putting his sweet lips to Otabek's neck and planting soft, needy kisses on his burning skin. He aches, hips twitching into Yuri's.

 _"Yura"_ he warns, pulling Yuri back by his hood. "Are you trying to-"

Yuri grinds against him and he chokes on his words, gripping onto him tighter.

He warps his arms around Yuri's back and flips them over, revelling in the whimper that falls from his mouth as he pins him down with his large hands on delicate wrists.

"Stop being a brat" he barks, and Yuri flinches.

He can't help but notice the way Yuri resembles a kitten when he submits, eyes wide and features soft in a way that he's never witnessed outside of their newly found _alone_ time. 

But of course, he adds a snarky "You like it". He's still Yuri, after all. 

Otabek stays on top of him, trying his best to calm his fast breaths.

"Come to Russia with me" Yuri speaks again, breaking free of the iron grip on his wrists to wrap his arms around Otabek's waist.

He still looks a little vulnerable, eyes soft and pleading.

"Yura... Is that really a good idea?"

Yuri is obviously trying to retain his ego, straining against whatever emotion is surfacing on his beautiful, tortured face.

Otabek looks away.

"I just-" Yuri sounds exasperated. "I'm not ready to leave you yet"

He knows Yuri got an apartment around the time he turned 18. He also knows he hasn't spent more than a week or two at a time living there. The last time he visited they stayed in Lilia's home, Yuri making the excuse that he needed her around for practice. Yuri doesn't want to live alone, that's why he came here early. That's why he seems so much more relaxed during competition season. Because he's in other countries, surrounded by other people.

"Ok" he says, looking Yuri in the eyes again.

It feels reckless agreeing to fly across the globe just to be with Yuri. He's not sure why, he's flown all over the world for less important reasons than the affection he bares for another person. 

Yuri hugs him tighter and he knows he's made the right decision.

 

* * *

 

_"Beka" Yuri moans into his ear, angelic voice making him shiver. "J-just like that"_

_He groans deeply, hands straining against the mattress._

_"Otabek"_

_Yuri's voice suddenly sounds panicked._

"Hey!" Yuri shakes him from sleep, face tense as his eyes dart back and forth. He glares, pulling his hand back from his shoulder.

Otabek blushes hard. Suddenly he's thankful that he got the window seat, and even more so that the aisle seat is empty.

"You were dreaming" Yuri points out, as if it isn't obvious. "Making a ton of noise"

"Sorry" Otabek blushes further, sitting up in his seat.

He adjusts himself, relieved that he wore baggy pants so his _situation_ isn't so obvious.

Yuri stretches out his arms in front of him, letting out a quiet groan as he relaxes.

Otabek tries furiously not to let the tingle spread through his body. The noises that come from Yuri's mouth do strange things to him.

"I can't believe you wouldn't fly at least business class with me" Yuri complains, shoving his legs out into the small space in front of his chair. "The seats here fucking _suck_ "

"We can't all be pretentious assholes" Otabek chimes, smirking when Yuri scoffs at him.

They spend the next hour or so without talking, Yuri stretching and sighing and doing just about anything he can to interrupt Otabek's peace. Yuri gets restless in small spaces, that's something he's come to learn. He also gets playful.

He leans across their seats, shoving the armrest down out of his path.

"I wish we were alone" he whispers into Otabek's ear.

Otabek nods. "I wish that most of the time"

Yuri looks across the aisle, presumably checking if anyone's looking, then slots his hand into Otabek's and squeezes.

"Why do you wish it now?" Otabek asks, his voice quiet and steady. "In this moment"

"So you could read to me" Yuri says, letting his head fall against Otabek's shoulder. "I love listening to your voice"

"Oh"

He plays with Yuri's fingers, stroking his thumb back and forth across them.

"I'll read to you tonight" he says, then looks at Yuri to catch his response.

Yuri's eyes widen a little as expected, because he just implied that they would be sharing a bed. He wonders if his pulse has raised too.

"We have some stuff to talk about" Otabek adds, and Yuri nods.

"I know"

 

* * *

 

Yuri's apartment looks like it was plucked straight from the pages of a magazine, which is somehow both impressive and disturbing at the same time. It's spacious and open, which Otabek appreciates, but everything looks untouched. The dark mocha furniture all seems to blend into one, wooden flooring feeling cold under his toes.

After showers and a quick squabble over what to do for dinner they decide on ordering something, since Yuri doesn't have any food in and absolutely refuses to go out.

After they order there's an awkward silence lingering in the air. Talking is not one of Otabek's strong suits, but Yuri looks stiff sitting a few feet away from him on the couch. He decides his pride is worth risking to make him more comfortable.

"So, what do you want from this?" He asks. Straight forward, to the point. He'll work on the romance later.

Yuri glares at him, then shuffles a little closer.

"I... I don't know" he says, then puts a hand on Otabek's wrist. "I just want you"

Otabek nods. "Companionship"

"Yeah"

Silence.

"What about you?" Yuri says, finally looking him in the eyes. "What do you want me to be?"

Otabek reaches out, pulling Yuri in closer. Yuri takes it as an invitation and climbs onto his lap, resting his thighs at either side of Otabek's hips.

"I want you to be mine" Otabek whispers. He doesn't intend for it to sound so intense, but Yuri reacts well all the same. 

"I want to be yours"

Otabek nods, letting his head fall back so Yuri can rest his own against his chest.

"Talking is important"

Wow, he sounds so stiff. He clears his throat and tries to continue without sounding like he's reading from an instruction manual. _Channel your fucking feelings, Altin._

"You have to tell me if you need something from me. If you need me to just hold you... or if you want me to touch you" He stutters on the last few words, putting a finger below Yuri's chin and lifting his face to meet his own. "Is that okay?"

"Yes" Yuri mouths.

Otabek plants a soft kiss against his lips.

"So what about... this stuff?" Yuri asks, circling his fingers on Otabek's knee. "Sex stuff"

"Have you done it before?" Otabek admires the soft blush that smothers Yuri's cheeks. So beautiful.

Yuri shakes his head no.

"Have you?"

Otabek shrugs. "I've done stuff. Not everything, though"

He hopes Yuri knows what he means by that. Yes, he hasn't fucked a guy yet. Before this he hadn't thought about it too much, but now...

"I want to give you everything, Beka"

Otabek nods.

"I want that too" he says, hands sweeping Yuri's hair from his face.

"Ok" Yuri sighs, then wraps his arms around Otabek's neck. "So we'll just... go at our own pace?"

Otabek nods, kissing Yuri softly.

A silence falls over them, Otabek breathing slowly as Yuri strokes the tips of his fingers down his neck.

"I-" Yuri starts, then stops to plant a kiss just below Otabek's ear. "I want you to touch me" he whispers. 

He feels a twitch below the waist, and just a second later Yuri tackles him backwards, causing him to fall on his back and giving Yuri the chance to straddle him.

"I know you had a dream about me on the plane"

Otabek turns to stone.

"I-Um... you, what?"

"In your sleep, you were moaning. You said my name" Yuri is smirking delightfully.

Otabek fights the creeping warmth taking over his cheeks. He feels like this shouldn't be so mortifying, but it is. 

"Yeah... I was, um-" He hesitates. He shouldn't say it, but Yuri is a fucking picture of lust atop him, and he can't help himself. "I was dreaming about fucking you"

Yuri twitches, gripping onto his shoulder tight. "Yeah?" He whimpers, pushing to grate their hips together.

"Yeah. You were-" he steadies Yuri's hips with his hands. "You were so good, Yura. So hot"

Yuri nods, eyes dazed and flirtatious. "I wanna be hot for you"

Otabek nods, leaning up into him. "You are. You already are"

Yuri smiles a mischievous grin, glowing as he grinds against Otabek's crotch. He can feel Yuri through his jeans.

"Can I touch you as well?" Yuri asks, and Otabek all but crumbles to pieces below him.

Is it too fast? He finds himself struggling to care when Yuri makes those damn eyes at him.

Instead of arguing with himself he nods, watching as Yuri shifts his hands to grab at the waistband of his pants. His warm hands move slowly, dipping beneath his underwear and skating across his skin, sensitive and hard under his lover's touch.

Otabek lets his head fall back against the couch.

"You're so hard, Beka" Yuri whispers, his breathy voice sending sparks across his skin.

"For you" Otabek mumbles, then gently thrusts himself against Yuri's hand. "That's what you do to me"

Yuri brushes the tip with his thumb and Otabek groans, propping himself up and panting.

"Come on" he whimpers. "Yuratchka, please _don't_ tease"

Yuri's eyes shoot up, catching Otabek's as he makes a fist around his length.

"Is this what you want?" Yuri mouths, smirking when Otabek thrusts into his hand.

He's pretty sure his next move knocks the wind out of Yuri, shoving his hand away and gripping him by the waist. He spins them around so fast he's surprised he doesn't give him whiplash, then leans over his body and turns Yuri face down. He reaches around his slender frame to press his palm to Yuri's crotch.

"Don't push me unless this is what you want" he whispers, and Yuri whimpers. "So. Is this what _you_ want?"

Yuri shocks him with desperate nods, laying his hands out flat above his head and letting Otabek pin him down easier.

"Good" Otabek says, then digs into Yuri's pants and helps free him from his underwear. 

He strokes him slowly from behind, letting Yuri whimper and beg just as he had done to him moments before. 

"More-Beka... _please_ "

He reaches for Yuri's hair, stroking gently as he uses the other to make him moan.

Yuri reaches a hand back to wrap his delicate fingers around Otabek, met with a thrust into his fist in rhythm with the hand on his own cock.

"Fuck _, Yura_ "

They're awkward, panting and rutting hips against each other, but god it feels good. Otabek didn't know it could feel this _good_.

When Yuri comes he almost yelps, a broken cry escaping his mouth as he juts against the friction of Otabek's hand.

It doesn't take Otabek long after feeling Yuri coat his hand, moaning deep and tugging at his hair. He spills onto Yuri's back, breaths falling hard as the blood rushes to his head and he tries to steady himself.

They lay still for a few minutes, Otabek stroking Yuri's hair as he plants the occasional kiss on the back of his neck.

He thinks back to the times he's fooled around with other people. The way he felt afterwards was not so much dirty but-

Used.

Used and _cheap_.

He doesn't feel that now, smelling Yuri's subtle minty scent as he breathes him in. He feels nothing but love.   
  
After they eat, Otabek reads to Yuri as promised and carries him to bed after he falls to sleep against his chest.

They sleep apart from each other, but Yuri winds up finding his arms in the night and closing the space between them to huddle close. 

He doesn't mind that Yuri's body heat makes him sweat, or that his tangled hair tickles his face. He strokes Yuri's hair until the early hours of the morning.

The only sound Otabek hears as he finally drifts to sleep is the steady breaths of his lover and the quiet ticking of the wall clock hanging at the far end of the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how long this update took, I extent my deepest apologies -.- 
> 
> Hoping you all enjoy this, as usual I appreciate your comments so much! 
> 
> If you're ever curious of where I am in regards to updates you can ask me on my twitter @xgrimesrick I'm super active there!

In the past few years Yuri has filled out a little more in terms of muscle. It's not too obvious, he's not as built as Otabek, but he has definition where it counts. He has a feeling that no matter how much he grows, he will always keep a slight element of prima ballerina about himself.

It's because of this that when he steals Otabek's Kazakhstan jacket, slipping it on to go to the bathroom, that it still hangs off his frame.

He stops to look at himself in the bathroom mirror above the sink, brushing his hair back with his fingers and practicing his 'I don't give a fuck' face. He looks good in Otabek's clothes. They make him _feel_ good.

He decides to whip out his phone, snapping a few pictures at awkward angles in the pale bathroom lighting.

He's skipping through the selfies with his thumb, selecting which to delete when he feels Otabek's presence at the doorway.

Otabek clears the room in a couple of strides, wrapping his bare arms around Yuri's waist from behind and pressing his face to cool porcelain skin.

"Take another" Otabek whispers into his ear, warm breath tickling his nerves. 

It takes him a moment to realise what he's talking about, and then...

Otabek's hand slips the phone from Yuri's and he swipes up the camera, holding it at a higher angle and pressing his lips to Yuri's cheek whilst he snaps them together. He takes one more, a touch of discretion this time, showing only half of Yuri's face and the glimpse of his blue and yellow jacket broken by Otabek's protective arm holding on tight. You can't see Otabek's face, but if you were to look closely it would be easy to identify his darker complexion and strong jaw making an appearance in the corner of the frame.

"I like those" Yuri says, admiring the pictures.

"Send me them"

Yuri nods, spinning around to plant a kiss on his cheek.

Otabek breaks his stoic gaze, letting a smile pull at the corner of his lips.

"I have an idea" He says, finally releasing his arms to walk back to the bedroom. "Something for us to do today"

Yuri follows behind him, watching as Otabek takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Okay. Spit it out"

He's met with silence, to which he responds with an eye roll. He walks over to the dresser and picks up a hairbrush, chucking it into Otabek's lap then throwing himself to the ground in a heap in front of him. Otabek runs his fingers through Yuri hair a few times, then switches to the brush.

Yuri reaches a hand back and tugs at one of the hair ties Otabek keeps on his wrist for him, indicating that he wants his hair tied back today.

"Yuri" Otabek startles him with his sudden aura of sincerity. "This thing between us"

There's a short pause as Otabek takes a breath, stroking Yuri's shoulder with his thumb.

"Do we tell people about it?"

Yuri shrugs.

He lets Otabek finish tying up his hair, then turns around.

"I'm not big on PDA or whatever" Yuri says. "But I guess it would be nice for people to know we're... _y'know_ "

Otabek nods. "So if I happened to have a discreet way in which we could-" he visibly cringes as he continues "announce our relationship... would you be okay with me doing so?"

Yuri rests his cheek against Otabek's knee, greeted by the gentle touch of fingers on his chin.

"Sure"

Otabek looks as though he is contemplating Yuri's response, then rises to his feet and heads to grab some clothes from his bag.

"Are you going to tell me what we're doing today?"

Otabek shakes his head. "Stay here, and I'll be back shortly"

 

* * *

 

Shortly feels like fucking hours to Yuri. He passes the time scrolling through his social media and cringing at the influx of posts from the newly-weds' honeymoon until he is finally summoned with a text.

 **Otabek 10:22**  
**Come downstairs.**

He races to the elevator, desperate to escape the stuffy building for the day.

When he arrives at the doors of the lobby he spots Otabek across the parking lot. He sits atop a black and silver motorcycle, extra helmet in hand.

"What's this?" Yuri asks as he approaches.

"It's called a motorcycle" Otabek says. Sometimes Yuri can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not, because his expression sure as shit doesn't give anything away.

Instead of rolling his eyes he decides to admire the bike.

"This isn't yours" he states the obvious, met with a nod from Otabek.

"I rented it. There's a place not far from here"

Yuri gapes at him. He really does look pleased with himself, an impression he doesn't often get from Otabek.

"You rented it on your own?" Yuri raises an eyebrow. He's aware Otabek has at least a basic understanding of his native language, but this is a little shocking.

"Yes, Yura. Are you forgetting how much time I have spent in this country?"

Yuri shrugs. He's pretty impressed, actually.

"Are you gunna get on or not?" Otabek asks, extending his arm to pass Yuri a helmet.

Yuri settles on the back of the bike, wrapping his arms tight around Otabek's torso.

Otabek turns to peck him at the bridge of his nose, then brings the engine roaring to life with a smooth flick of his thumb on the ignition switch. 

"Hold on tight, tiger"

 

* * *

 

The road they take passes through the city, hundreds of vehicles flashing by them as he grips onto Otabek a little tighter. He smells of leather and bike oil in a way that, for a reason Yuri can't explain, delights him.

He takes a breath in, relishing the sting of cold air in his nostrils. As much as he enjoys travelling, nothing can beat the nip of a chilly winter day in Russia. The cold reminds him of home, of the ice, of walks in the snow with his grandfather.

He thinks about the night before. He hasn't had much time to contemplate what happened, but he knows he doesn't regret a thing. The way Otabek had taken control, the way they played off each other's bodies so well... it was magic. He feels closer to Otabek somehow, like their connection has been strengthened through physical touch. He's glad for it. He's greedy, thirsting for more of it and savouring every single touch Otabek gifts him with. But he's content, for now.

He's confused when Otabek begins to slow, because if he were to take a quick look around he wouldn't really say they'd arrived anywhere. On closer inspection he notices the parting in the surrounding woodland. There's an open path that veers from the road, following through the trees. It looks barren, clearly not maintained like the main roads. 

Otabek steers onto the path, coming to a stop once they're a fair distance from the road. He shifts his weight to the side, first climbing off then offering Yuri his hand.

They take a few steps back from the bike and Yuri marvels at his surroundings.

"Is this the part where you tell me what the fuck we're doing?" Yuri asks, slipping his helmet off and watching on as Otabek fiddles with his gloves.

Otabek nods, looking on down the path with a distant expression. 

"Get on the bike" he says.

"We just got off" Yuri argues. Otabek turns to give him a look that says 'do now, understand later', and he decides to trust him.

Once Yuri is comfortably seated Otabek moves to his side.

"Hands" he says, and Yuri complies almost instantly, wrapping his slender fingers around the handlebars.

He feels a swift tug at his back that tells him to fix his posture, guided by supportive hands.

"This is your front break lever" he says, hand brushing over Yuri's thumb where it sits on the bar. "And this is your clutch" pointing to Yuri's left hand.

For once Yuri is quiet, because when Otabek's passionate side comes out he is beautiful to study. He doesn't often find himself looking up to people. He is his own man, and he's proud of who he's grown to be. But looking at Otabek now he feels like a mortal amongst a god, and all he desires is to watch in silence as his god guides him.

"Yura" Otabek says, then reaches out to push the few strands escaping Yuri's hair tie from his face. "Eyes open, focus on what's in front of you"

Yuri nods, but his eyes are still following Otabek as he backs away.

He doesn't expect to feel nervous, but looking at the long stretch of path ahead he feels his stomach turn.

"You're okay. Turn the key"

He turns it to the on position.

"Now pull the clutch lever all the way down, then hold the switch on the right till you hear the motor turn over and release it"

Yuri does as he's instructed, the engine startling him as it roars, then slows to a soft purr.

Otabek nods his approval.

"Now... the clutch?" Yuri's voice comes out strained, but Otabek maintains his calm steely gaze.

"Slowly"

Yuri starts to loosen his hold on the clutch lever, walking the bike forwards slowly. Otabek nods, catching Yuri's eye. The bike sputters, then stalls.

"Fuck!" Yuri spits, slamming one foot against the ground.

"It's alright... sometimes you've got to pull back on the throttle a little bit"

Yuri shakes his head. "This is frustrating, Beka"

Otabek smirks and steps in front of the bike, the engine now disengaged, and puts a hand over Yuri's.

"What do you do when you fail a jump, Yuratchka?"

Yuri's face flushes. The way Otabek's tongue curls around that name makes him feel queasy in all the right ways.

"I take a minute. Then I try again, until I get it right" he feeds into Otabek's coaching, knowing fully well what he's getting at.

"That's right, babe"

Yuri flushes further.

"So you've had your minute" Otabek bends to kiss Yuri's knuckles. "Again"

 

* * *

 

After many attempts and one horrifically embarrassing instance in which Yuri forgot how to work the brakes, Otabek decides to call it a day on his lesson. Yuri leaves with a feeling of accomplishment, though he's glad no one else was present to witness his struggle.

Otabek's next location is a traditional style soviet cafe in the heart of the city. It's neatly hidden away from the street, steps leading down to the entrance, and he has no clue how Otabek could've stumbled upon such a place.

The decor is charming and very rustic. The tables are covered with mustard-yellow and white checkered tablecloths, reminding him of his grandfather's home. It has a very _dacha_ atmosphere, even sporting a small television set that plays old soviet-era cartoons. It makes Yuri smile.

Once they're seated and make an order they find themselves reminiscing about their first skating season together. Yuri recalls the memories of Barcelona with such glee. Otabek even orders a glass of wine for Yuri, which he accepts only because Otabek insists.

"I can't drink, I'm driving" he says, pushing the glass in Yuri's direction. "But I have tasted it before. You must"

Yuri swirls the deep red liquid in the glass, scowling at the strong smell radiating to his nostrils.

"I don't even drink"

Otabek raises an eyebrow.

"Fine, jeez" Yuri scoffs as he brings the glass to his lips. He takes a gulp, hoping to impress Otabek in a momentary lapse of judgement. The wine is bitter as hell, and his whole face twists at the taste. He coughs loudly, spitting what he can back into the glass and drawing the attention of another couple seated nearby.

What draws the attention of everyone else is the laughter that follows, Otabek's face twisting in a whole different kind of way as he leans over the table and tries to cover his mouth with his hand. His laughter is obvious, but the people around them eventually avert their attention.

"Otabek! What the fuck?" He scowls, sniping angrily across the table.

His face must still look funny, because Otabek looks up from the table and doubles over again, laughing even harder.

He wants to yell at him but Otabek's laugh is a rare sight, and who the fuck was he to interrupt this breathtaking anomaly. He admires the dimples in Otabek's face, the deep husky tone of his laugh, the sparkle in his otherwise deep and brooding eyes. 

He's _beautiful_.

The smile slowly slips from his face as he calms himself.

"Yura?" He reaches a hand across the table to hold Yuri's. "You're not really mad are you?"

Yuri shakes his head. "No. But what the fuck was that?"

Otabek smirks, taking the glass back from Yuri and bringing it to his nose.

"I tried it when I was in Russia last" he says, then sets it down. "It's the worst wine I've ever tasted"

"And you wasted your money on that little experiment... why?"

Otabek shrugs. "Funny"

"You are cruel, Altin"

Their meals arrive shortly after, Yuri making quick work of his after a hard morning of biking. They don't talk much, but they don't need to. One of the greatest privileges of dating Otabek is that he doesn't demand small talk, but rather disregards it all together. They'd much sooner share a meaningful silence than an empty conversation.

After they eat Otabek orders them a couple more drinks, and they take their time sipping and watching the people around them.

"What are you listening to?" Yuri asks, noticing Otabek has slipped an earphone in whilst they were eating.

He grabs the other earbud and holds it out for Yuri to take. The red wire runs across the table, just to say reaching Yuri's ear as he slots it in.

Otabek watches his expression closely as he takes the music in.

"This isn't your usual stuff" Yuri comments. Otabek is usually into something with more of a beat. Not this slow shit punctuated with the light plucking of guitar in the background.

Otabek shrugs. "I haven't been feeling usual lately" then a look of worry flashes across his face. A look that tells Yuri he maybe didn't mean to say that out loud.

_In a busy room you're all I see_

Yuri tries not to let the music move him too much. Not here.

Otabek says something, but all he can hear is this dumb fucking Brit singing all the words that have been lingering in the back of his head for weeks.

_Calm down, calm down. Don't let ~~her~~  him see how fast your heart is beating_

"Yuri?"

"Yeah, sorry"

"I said... what do you think they're talking about?" Otabek nods to a young woman in the corner of the room, seated before a much older man. They snipe at each other across the table, angrily whispering, and the young woman gestures largely with her hands.

Yuri smirks. "I don't know. Maybe she's his granddaughter... maybe she's his lover"

Otabek nods.

"Maybe he's her sugar daddy and he hasn't paid up this month"

Otabek chuckles. "You have a twisted mind"

Then they resume silence.

 _I wouldn't want to hurt you by letting you hurt me,_ _you don't deserve to feel guilty_

Yuri rips the earphone out, shoving it back across the table. He looks down, feeling Otabek's eyes burn into his scalp. 

When he looks up Otabek is fiddling with his glove and chewing his lip. He looks... nervous.

"Sorry, I-Um-" Yuri mutters.

He can feel his eyelids fucking sweating. Why did that song freak him out so much?

"Yura?" Otabek whispers, reaching to touch Yuri's wrist. He gives him a gentle stroke of his thumb, then pulls back. "You wanna get out of here?"

 

* * *

 

They ride North out of the city for almost an hour, only stopping when Otabek finds the perfect spot to view the sea. Yuri recognises the beach. He has fond memories of visiting during summer as a child. It looks different in the cold months, the few restaurants that run across the shore looking as though they haven't been used in a while. The wind has picked up, whipping Yuri's hair back from his face as they walk.

They reach the water and Otabek takes a seat on a large tree log that sits in the sand. Yuri follows, hands in pockets and legs crossed over in front of them.

They savour the quiet, Yuri taking a particular pleasure in the gentle sounds of waves rolling over one another. The sea has always calmed him, no matter where he is in the world. He wonders if Otabek knows this, if maybe he considered it when deciding where to take him. 

"I care for you very much, Yura" Otabek says, having to raise his voice to match the wind. "So much that it scares me sometimes"

Yuri nods, fiddling with the zip of his jacket.

"I-" he starts, but the words choke him. He's always struggled with expressing emotions other than anger. But it's Beka, and he has to. "I get scared too"

Otabek's expression is impossible to read.

"I can't believe how lucky I am" Otabek says, and Yuri turns to face him. "Sometimes I think this is a dream. That I will wake up back home without you, and... and I-"

Yuri's heart aches. Like, physically throbs, and he feels like he can't breathe. Otabek blinks rapidly but a tear still finds it's way past his eyelashes and falls down his cheek.

"-I can't bare the thought that this might not be real. Or that you might find someone who can give you something I can't" his voice cracks and Yuri can't take it anymore.

He grabs Otabek's cheek and turns his face to meet his own.

"Look at me" Yuri says, then brings his other hands to touch his chest. "This is real. We're real"

Otabek nods, before being pulled into a kiss.

He kisses back softly, his usual heat replaced with something much more tender.

Yuri tugs at Otabek's lip with his teeth, coaxing a deeper kiss from him. He lifts his arms to wrap them around his neck and Otabek presses into him.

When they part Yuri feels his cheeks flush, kissing Otabek's jaw and stroking his fingers through his cropped hair.

"Thank you" Otabek whispers.

They watch the sea for a short while, Yuri's hand locked in Otabek's in his pocket and his head leans against his lover's shoulder.

The cold begins to nip at his face and he wonders if they should head back, but there's still something he wants to ask.

"What was today about?" He says.

Otabek sighs and squeezes his hand.

"Tomorrow is your appointment at the hospital, yes?"

Yuri nods.

"And then you leave to visit your grandfather in Moscow just two days after?"

Yuri nods again, slower this time. He's still not sure what Otabek is getting at.

"So... I wanted to give you a perfect day. Before you had to deal with everything else. A day we could spend away from our problems, and the rest of the world"

Oh.

Yuri kisses Otabek's shoulder and nuzzles into him.

"Thank you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song referenced is 'Crywank - GB Eating GB Whilst Listening To GB'. It is one of my favourite songs in the world, and the artist is a lyrical genius so be sure to check him out if you think you'd be interested! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6Mjo_0ouFg
> 
> The cafe is inspired by a real place - https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g298507-d3198193-Reviews-Dachniki-St_Petersburg_Northwestern_District.html
> 
> And so is the beach! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2nD9bV0YFg
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I know next to nothing about bikes and had to do a ton of research, so if you notice anything that is obviously incorrect please don't be afraid to point it out!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the bringer of late chapters, come, bask in my failure. 
> 
> There is a POV switch after the first part from Otabek to Yuri. It's not how I usually do this story but it felt right so just roll with it. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is a little more smutty than usual, just so y'know. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

The buzz of Otabek's phone against the glass of the dining room table is insufferable. It buzzes again, and again, sending vibrations through his hand as he picks it up.

He knows where the notifications are coming from before he even looks at the screen. Just five minutes ago he posted one of the bathroom selfies Yuri took with him the morning before. He didn't even have to caption it, he just tagged Yuri and let people interpret the image how they pleased.

It seems that they have decided to think of it as an announcement, because the flood of comments coming through are mostly congratulations or something along the lines of 'I knew it'.

He panics for a second, not because of Instagram, but because he has received three messages from Viktor in the past two minutes.

**Viktor 8:13**   
**I hope that you had Yuri's permission to post that photo**

**Viktor 8:13**   
**And if this is your way of telling us you are dating I would've appreciated a message first!**

**Viktor 8:14**   
**But you look happy. Take good care of him**

He smiles to himself. Viktor and Yuuri make great pseudo-parents.

**Otabek 8:15**   
**Always do**

Yuri stumbles in from the bedroom shortly after, phone in hand.

"I didn't think it'd get this much attention" he says, walking to the sink and pouring himself a glass of water.

Otabek shrugs. "People like to know about this stuff"

"People are fucking nosy" Yuri says in between gulps.

He takes a minute to clear his notifications, but they just keep coming. Instead he decides to turn off his phone.

Yuri walks over to the table where Otabek is sitting, swinging a leg over his waist and straddling him in his chair.

"Yur-" Otabek gasps, cut off by a spontaneous kiss.

Yuri rubs his hands over Otabek's chest, leaving feather-light scratches over his bare skin. He stops for a second, pulls the loose t-shirt he's wearing over his head, then presses their lips together again.

Otabek groans, hands finally responding to the sudden assault on his senses and gripping to Yuri's back.

He pulls back for a second, catching his breath whilst Yuri kisses his neck.

"What brought this on?" He asks, and Yuri shrugs.

"I don't know. I just... I want you"

Otabek tugs at Yuri's hair, pulling him back enough to get a good grip under his legs before rising to his feet and laying him back on the table.

He places his hands at either side of Yuri, cool glass soothing his burning skin, and leans over him to put his lips to his lover's neck. He kisses again and again, with the occasional nip and graze of his teeth. Yuri mewls beautifully beneath him.

"My kitten" Otabek growls against his skin and Yuri moans, sending soft vibrations through his lips.

He grinds his hips into Yuri's, catching them both at a good angle as they moan into each other's mouths.

"One day, I'll take you right here on this table" he pants. Yuri whimpers, digging his nails into Otabek's chest. He manages to get a good grip, pushing him up from their position so he can sit up straight.

Otabek stands and glares whilst Yuri catches his breath.

"Before any of that" he says, then climbs off the table. He pushes Otabek backwards carefully. "I want to do something for you"

Otabek watches on, slightly confused.

Yuri smirks as he takes two of Otabek's fingers and licks a slow stripe up from knuckle to tip. He takes the fingers into his mouth slowly, eyes fluttering as he makes a gentle suction with his mouth.

"Oh... _fuck_ " Otabek groans. It finally clicks what Yuri wants.

Before he has a chance to react Yuri is dropping to his knees in front of him.

He brings a single finger to Otabek's crotch, running a smooth line down over his erection through his shorts, then back up to grip at the waistband.

Otabek leans forwards to rest his hands on the table, trying hard not to look Yuri in the eyes for fear he might finish too fast.

He feels Yuri's careful breaths against him first, then the wet, warm lap of his tongue against the tip.

" _Ah,_ Yura" he breathes.

Yuri continues to lick him tentatively, teasing every ounce of his self control.

He feels a tug at his wrist, Yuri pulling his hand from the table and guiding it to his head. He wraps the golden locks he loves so much around his fingers and pulls Yuri's head back, finally making eye contact as he takes him in his mouth.

"Fuck" Otabek hisses under his breath. Yuri takes him in slowly, eyes fluttering but staying locked on Otabek's. "That's it baby"

Yuri starts to building up a rhythm, working the shaft with his fingers as he uses his tongue to stroke him from beneath, but soon submits when Otabek slaps his hand away and takes a harder grip of his hair. He starts to slowly thrust into his lover's mouth, breathing wildly as Yuri glares up at him with sparkling eyes now beginning to water.

"You take it so good, Yuratchka" he growls, mind clouding with lust as he starts to get close.

He thrusts a little harder and Yuri gags, sputtering as Otabek lets him back off. He takes a second to breath, then just as Otabek feels he should start apologising Yuri gives him a long lick, surrounding his length with his sweet mouth again.

Otabek can barley stand now. The only thing keeping his eyes from rolling back in his head is the pair of emeralds staring up at him. Yuri Plisetsky, eyes of a soldier. Eyes of a friend. Eyes of a lover.

He finishes with a low groan, his grip surely pulling some of Yuri's hair from his scalp with how hard he tenses. He watches as Yuri pulls back slowly, keeping a tight grip of him.

"Swallow it"  
  
He does it instantly, without hesitation. Otabek feels his veins pulse with adoration.

He tucks himself away and falls to the floor, leaning forwards on his knees to hold Yuri. They share a deep, needy kiss, Yuri whimpering with want into his mouth.

"Beautiful boy" Otabek whispers against his mouth. "You're so good for me"

Yuri moans softly, tortured by his words.

He leans into Otabek's chest and sighs as gentle fingers stroke through his wild mane.

They sit for a minute and catch their breath, but their peace doesn't last long.

There's a hard knock at the door.

"Yuratchka! We have to go, your appointment is in 20 minutes!" Yakov shouts.

"Fuck" Yuri hisses, rising from the floor too fast and hitting his head on the table.

Otabek smirks, helping him up and passing him his discarded shirt from the floor. Yuri dresses fast, running around the apartment looking for his jacket and shoes and mumbling something about thinking his appointment was at 10, not 9.

Before he leaves Otabek gives him a deep kiss, cornering him against the wall of the living room.

Yuri's sudden urgency leaves him, wrapping his arms tightly around his lover's neck as he's lifted from the ground.

Yakov slams on the door a few more times, but they don't stop.

"I hate leaving you" Yuri whispers. "Especially when I'm this hard"

Otabek smiles, letting him down slowly but still kissing him with all the passion he can muster.

"Yuri! Now!"

"Ah, jeez" Yuri scoffs, finally parting from their kiss. "We'll finish this later, da?"

"Let me know how it goes"

Yuri nods, planting a final kiss on Otabek's cheek before scampering off.

"Yura" Otabek calls, and Yuri turns to look at him from the door.

His heart skips, and he loses his nerve.

"I-um- nothing" he mumbles, brushing off the interruption with a wave of his hand. "Later"

 

* * *

 

Yuri lays his head on his hand, letting the tremors of the engine travel from the car door through his elbow up to his hand. The gentle patter of rain against the glass is soothing, lulling him in and out of consciousness.

He had managed to get a quick message to Otabek when he left the hospital to let him know that his injury was a stress fracture, as suspected, and that he had done the right thing by resting it. He was instructed to take it easy for another three weeks, much to his own dismay as well as Yakov and Lilia's.

Yuri fiddles with his sleeve as he listens to the coaches bicker in the front seats. Georgi sits beside him, having been for a routine checkup, and Mila on the far right.

"Oh Yuri"

He suddenly realises Mila is leaning forward to address him.

"What?" He says, without turning his head.

"When were you going to tell us about Otabek?" She asks.

He turns quickly, noting how her eyes sparkle with curiosity. She must have seen the picture already.

"It's none of your business, why would I bother telling you?" he sighs.

She looks hurt. He's not sure why, until he casts his mind back to last season. Mila had confided in him when she began to date Sara, looking for advice. He had told her that he didn't know much about dating, but gave her what little knowledge he had, and in return she thanked him. Most importantly, she had told him if he ever had any doubts or concerns about his own love life that he could come to her. He probably should have used that opportunity.

"It's cute, anyway" she says, deflated.

"Thank you" he replies a bit too quickly, hoping she knows he means well.

"You can really tell how much you mean to him" Georgi comments, admiring the picture on Mila's phone.

Yuri raises his brow.

Mila nods, smiling. "Da, it's the way he looks at you. He isn't the most expressive man, but his eyes do say a lot when you're around him"

Yuri blushes. If Georgi and Mila noticed, surely other people must have as well. Was he the only one that wasn't aware of Otabek's fucking long-term crush on him?

Right on cue he receives a text.

**Otabek 11:04**   
**Glad to hear everything is alright. Will you be home late?**

**Yuri 11:05**   
**Looks like it. Yakov wants me to come to practice even though I can barely do anything but skate in circles.**

**Otabek 11:05**   
**Ok. Are you in the car now?**

Yuri stares at his phone. It's not usual for Otabek to ask him such trivial questions over text.

**Yuri 11:07**   
**Yeah... why?**

**Otabek 11:08**   
**Can anyone see your screen?**

**Yuri 11:08**   
**No? Why are you being weird?**

**Otabek 11:09**   
**I just wanted to ask about this morning. It was so sudden, you wanting to do that to me**

**Yuri 11:09**   
**I wanted to say thanks for yesterday I guess. I also just wanted to see how you taste**

Yuri blinks and looks up from his phone, hoping his blush isn't too obvious.

"That's him now, isn't it!" Mila yells with glee.

Yakov turns his head. "What are you yapping about?"

Yuri blushes even harder.

"Oh, just Yuri and his boyfriend" she smiles.

"What the fuck, Mila!" Yuri scowls, folding his arms.

"Oh, that Altin boy? From Kazakhstan?" Lilia asks, like it's nothing. Like everyone already fucking knew.

"Yeah! Isn't it cute" Mila smiles, "he's so handsome"

"Hey!" Yuri scowls further, eyes narrowing in her direction.

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your career, I don't see a problem with it" Yakov says, then turns back to face the road.

**Otabek 11:10**   
**Was it as you imagined?**

**Yuri 11:10**   
**Better.**

**Otabek 11:11**   
**I can't wait to get my hands on you tonight**

Yuri takes a few steady breaths and tries not to focus too much on thoughts of Otabek's hands. On what they can do to him. It's too late, the evidence of his words already making itself present in Yuri's lap.

**Yuri 11:12**   
**You're making this car ride very difficult to get through**

**Otabek 11:13**   
**Are you getting hard for me already, Yuratchka?**

He shivers, eyes constantly darting between his phone and the eyes of Georgi and Mila. This is not something they need to see.

**Otabek 11:13**   
**Do you want me to stop?**

**Yuri 11:14**   
**No**

**Yuri 11:15**   
**What will you do to me tonight?**

**Otabek 11:15**   
**Whatever it is that you want me to do, kitten. I'm yours**

His throat feels dry. All he wants right now is to be at home with his boyfriend.

**Yuri 11:16**   
**I want you inside me**

**Otabek 11:16**   
**We can work towards that**

**Otabek 11:17**   
**As long as you're a good boy for me, that is**

**Yuri 11:17**   
**Don't act like you don't like it when I misbehave**

**Otabek 11:18**   
**Don't act like you don't moan when I call you a good boy**

He almost groans. This is too much for such a confined space.

**Yuri 11:19**   
**Talk later... too much right now**

**Otabek 11:20**   
**As you wish. Enjoy your day**

 

* * *

 

Yakov has Yuri skating figure eights and doing the most mind-numbingly dull step sequences to pass the time whilst he coaches the other skaters. It's frustrating as hell, but apparently necessary in order to get him back into routine. So he skates, watching how everyone is progressing as he does.

Mila is brilliant as always. Georgi makes an equally dramatic assistant coach as he did a skater. There are more new faces around these days, most likely due to the attention Viktor and himself have brought to St Petersburg in the past few years. He wonders what it will be like when Viktor returns from his honeymoon. Whether he and Yuuri will settle well here, whether they'll ever consider children. The idea seems strange now, but so did the prospect of their marriage years ago. 

He starts to tire around 1, just in time for Yakov to call a break. Everyone clears the rink and starts to head out for lunch.

"Are you coming Yuri? We're going out for food" Mila asks from across the hall as she removes her skates.

He shakes his head no.

Soon the whole place is emptied, leaving him alone. He takes a seat on one of the benches that surrounds the rink and unlaces his skates, then pulls out his phone to take a quick shot.

He's wearing a red zip-up hoodie, open slightly to reveal a tight black shirt beneath. His face looks... different than in his usual pictures. He doesn't look fierce with confidence or pride. His features are softer, cheeks glowing with a steady blush - evidence he still hasn't cooled down from practice. His hair is messy and disheveled in a way that would make Otabek cringe.

He posts it, captioned 'back at it'.

Within 5 minutes it's already gathered hundreds of likes, and quite a few comments from the 'Yuri's angels'.

His heart warms when he sees a comment come through from Otabek. 'Beautiful boy'.

A text follows just moments later.

**Otabek 13:17**   
**You look stunning, Yura**

**Yuri 13:17**   
**Feels more like exhausted to me**

He sighs, because he just knows Yakov and Lilia will insist he stays all day today. He probably won't be home till around 6, and by then he'll be too beat to do anything but lie down. 

**Yuri 13:18**   
**Don't think I'll be able to do much tonight... coach is killing me here**

**Otabek 13:19**   
**Don't worry about it. Work hard kitten**

He gnaws at his bottom lip with his teeth. Is that all? No resistance? No, _please Yura I need you._

Suddenly, inspiration strikes. He is alone here, everyone has left to get food or take a break. He'll be alone for at least 30 minutes.

He heads to the bathroom, not giving his actions too much thought. He tries not to blush as he shifts his pants down his legs. The bathroom stall isn't very large, but neither is he, and he manages to stroke himself to readiness.

He takes another photo, this time showing from his abdomen down to his fist, clenching himself gently as he tries not to buck into his hand.

He sends it to Otabek, with the message 'how do I look now?'

He replies almost instantly.

**Otabek 13:27**   
**Like a needy boy that wants my attention**

Then a second later.

**Otabek 13:27**   
**You've got it**

Attached is a picture taken from a high angle, Otabek's erection huge and solid taking up most of the frame. Behind it he can see the sheets of his own bed. The thought of Otabek touching himself on his bed makes his stomach flip.

**Yuri 13:28**   
**Tell me what to do**

He waits for a message. Waits a tense minute, then jumps when his phone rings, impossibly loud in the small room.

"Beka" he pants down the phone, hearing his lover's strained breaths as he answers.

"Yuratchka, you're so hot" he groans. "Th-that picture you posted. Your face... you look so soft. Just like when you dropped to your knees for me"

Yuri moans, giving himself a long stroke.

"Your hair is so messy" he adds, voice trembling. "I want it in my fists. I want to tug you around by it watch you purr for me"

He feels himself whimper, greeted by a deep growl.

"I want your hands on me so bad, Beka. I want you to take me as rough as you can"

"You don't want that baby boy" he whispers, jutting groans making it easier to imagine how he's thrusting against his hand. "I'd fucking tear you apart"

Yuri moans loud.

"You'd like that... wouldn't you?"

"Yes" he whimpers.

"Say it, baby"

"I-" he shrieks, almost too close. "I'd like you to tear me apart, Beka"

"Ah" Otabek groans. He sounds close, but not Yuri-close. "Do not cum until I say"

"Y-yessir" he trembles.

They don't speak for a minute. Just reacting to each other's moans and grunts as they work themselves. He's desperate, shaking and sweating and waiting for his command.

"Alright, fuck, cum for me kitten"

He does, instantly wailing and letting himself go. His stomach grows warm under the spray of his pleasure and he wishes he'd maybe grabbed some tissue or-

"Send me a picture"

"Right now?" Yuri blushes immensely.

"Right now" Otabek says, voice cold and hard and still breathy.

He makes sure to get his stomach in frame, his mess evident and his face flushed and sleepy.

He gets an immediate reaction after he hits send.

"Oh, fuck. Kitten you- your so messy I-" he lets out a sharp growl, followed by the beautiful sound of his orgasm. Yuri takes it in with a proud feeling budding in his chest.

They stay on the phone, both panting down the line.

"You're so good. _So_ good" Otabek whispers. "My beautiful boy, I love you-"

They stay silent, because they haven't said it yet. Because it takes the air out of his lungs and he remembers their talk at the beach. He knows how much it takes out of Otabek to care for him. But he's never said it to anyone, and it means a lot. He tries to speak, but his tongue won't let him. It refuses to work with his teeth to make the words. He staggers, coughs.

And then Otabek hangs up.

 

* * *

 

He curses himself the rest of the day. Curses himself all the way home for not saying it back. He considers texting, but what can he say over text that will carry enough weight?

 

_Hey Beka! Just wanted to let you know that I love you too but I don't have the emotional capacity to tell you to your face!_

_So, Otabek, you know that thing you said? It almost made me have a heart attack! Lets pretend it never happened!_

 

There's no way.

He calls him once, lets the tone cycle _once, twice-_ then hangs up.

_Chickenshit._

He doesn't know how to deal with this. Otabek is the only person in the world he can talk to...  
Right?

He stands outside the entrance to his apartment building, the cool wind welcome on his burning skin.

The phone rings _once, twice-_

"Yurio! Hey!" Yuuri's voice rings out. "We miss you!"

"Alright, jeez" Yuri sighs.

"Why're you calling?"

He clenches his fist. This is going to take courage he's not sure he has.

"Yurio?" He speaks with concern now. "Is everything okay?"

He feels the heat beneath his eyes. The tears gather, then fall. 

"I-" as soon as he tries to speak his voice cracks and he starts to sob. "Fuck" he curses through his tears. " _Fuck_ , fucking hell"

"Yuri, calm down it's okay"

He hears Viktor's whispers in the background, though he struggles to make it out through the sounds of the wind.

"Yuri, talk to me. What's up?" Viktor says, his voice strangely soothing.

"Otabek told me that he loves me" he blurts out, then waits.

Viktor takes a moment to reply, clearly thinking over his response.

"And how do you feel about him?"

Yuri scoffs. "I feel the same, what do you think?"

"Then I do not see the problem here. You're sure of this feeling, yes? Then say it" Viktor asks.

"What?"

"Tell me. Say the words, how do you feel about him?"

He swears this jackass gets off on humiliating him.

"I- um-" he trembles. Why is this so hard? "I love him"

He can almost feel Viktor's smirk through the phone.

"I know that -feelings- they can be difficult to talk about. But if you do not then he will pull away. He will feel rejected. For Otabek to tell you this is a big thing, for him to feel comfortable enough" Viktor rattles on. But he's starting to make sense. "If you want to keep his trust, you need to be honest with him. It will be worth it, I promise"

He nods, adding a 'da' when he remembers Viktor can't see him.

"Don't worry so much, Yurio. You are getting worked up over nothing"

"Yeah. Thanks" he mutters.

Yuuri yells something inaudible, then Viktor translates for him. "Yuuri sends his love. Let us know how things go"

"Alright. Later"

He hangs up, and heads inside before his nerves have the chance to catch up with him.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // PSA //  
> I am currently taking a break from writing due to impending exams, but my new fic shall be released in late June!! Thank you for the support loves <3
> 
> A long wait, partially due to a silly me forgetting to save my edits and having to comb through the whole thing twice, but we have arrived at the final chapter. There is a continuous POV switch throughout the chapter bc I am trash. 
> 
> If you like my writing be sure to check out my account in the next few months as I have a short Otayuri story as well as a longer AU coming up soon! 
> 
> You guys are awesome! Keep it real.

The apartment is silent on his return. Otabek could be sleeping, sure, but something in his gut tells him he isn't.

Sure enough, there is no sign of Otabek in the bedroom.

"Beka!" He calls out just in case, but he's greeted with further silence.

He throws himself down on the bed and lets out a long awaited sigh. After a moment of contemplation he scurries for his phone in his pocket. 

Once it's in his hands he's not quite sure what he wants to do. He can't bring himself to call, so instead he just stares at the screen and waits.

After what feels like a century the jarring sound of the front door opening brings him back from his thoughts.

He listens to the sounds of footsteps creaking through the apartment. They gradually get louder until they reach the bedroom door. 

"Yura?" Otabek calls out, still not entering the room.

Yuri rises to his feet, lifting a hesitant hand to the door knob. All he has to do is twist. Just open up. Just let him in.

When the door swings open he's scooped into a tight hold, the breath leaving his lungs as he sighs relief into Otabek's chest.

"I love you" he mouths, then lifts his face to look at his lover. "I lo-"

His frantic voice is cut off with a hasty kiss. They embrace for a moment, lips needy and tender as if they have been apart for months despite only sharing their bodies this morning.

"I- I'm sorry" Yuri whispers, parting from Otabek's lips to hold his face. "I'm sorry I didn't say it back earlier"

Otabek shakes his head, kissing Yuri's scalp through a thick sheen of golden hair. "Don't be sorry for such things. Not when we have so little time left together"

That's right. It all ends tomorrow. He leaves for Moscow, and Otabek returns to Kazakhstan. For how long? He doesn't know. What he does know is that he's going to struggle greatly with the absence of a companion. 

"Fuck" Yuri sighs, then places a finger over Otabek's lips, met with a chaste kiss to his digits. "Lets not talk about that tonight"

"Then what do you propose we do?" Otabek asks, brushing Yuri's hair from his shoulders. "Do you want to rest? You've had a long day"

Yuri puts his head to Otabek's chest, wrapping his arms around him tight. He can't let their last night together be dictated by his exhaustion, but he already feels his eyes starting to shut as he nods.

 

* * *

 

Otabek watches over Yuri as he sleeps, enjoying the serene sounds of his boyfriend's breaths as they fall slow and calm, filling the room.

He expects Yuri to be out for the night, but it's only a few hours later that green eyes greet his own from the bed and he starts to rise.

"Time?" He asks.

"Just turned eleven"

Yuri huffs. He slowly shuffles until he's sat at the end of the bed, arms reaching behind him to rub at his back.

"Are you sore?" Otabek asks, already standing from the chair he'd taken at the far side of the room before he gets an answer. He sits behind Yuri, legs open to accommodate the body moving back against his own. Yuri lays into him, relaxing against his solid hands as he starts to work his muscles.

"Wait" Yuri mumbles, leaning forwards to slip his shirt over his head.

Otabek appreciates the creamy texture of Yuri's skin, especially now when he has free reign to touch it. He feels smooth, and much softer than himself. He lets his senses become intoxicated by the breathy sounds that escape Yuri's throat as he toys with his body, working the tension from his shoulders. 

"Relax, baby" he mouths, pressing his thumbs hard into a pressure point that lies below Yuri's shoulder blades.

His mouth falls open, silent intensity making Otabek shiver.

"My kitten" he says, mouth against his neck.

Yuri makes soft, pleading sounds so quiet he struggles to catch them.

He can't resist slipping a hand over Yuri's thigh, rubbing slow and steady. 

The way Yuri twists and shifts to try and get contact with his groin makes his own erection throb.

"Ota-" he breathes, and Otabek nods as slender fingers reach backwards and stroke through his cropped hair. "I'd like you to fuck me tonight"

Otabek leans into the touch, grinding his hips against Yuri.

"I've been practicing" he whispers, and Otabek's hand tenses on his thigh. "I wanted to be ready for you... so you could have me"

He plants soft kisses on Yuri's shoulder, then the back of his neck through his hair.

"You're so perfect, my Yuratchka"

He runs his hand higher up, finally giving Yuri pressure on his crotch.

"I can hardly wait to be inside you"

A moan escapes Yuri's lips and he manages to shift his hips upwards and grind against Otabek's hand.

Otabek begins to fiddle with Yuri's pants before a gentle hand stops him.

"I've got-" he starts, leaning forwards from the bed to retrieve something from the draw in his bedside table. When he returns to Otabek's lap he hands him a small plastic bottle, then swings his legs over to straddle his waist. 

Otabek stares at the bottle, then looks to Yuri who is already grasping at his clothes. He helps him the rest of the way, only managing to get his pants half way down his thighs before their patience runs dry. He brings a hand to stroke Yuri's cock to attention.

"Not too much" Yuri whispers, closing his mouth onto Otabek's. "I want to finish when you do"

Otabek moans into their kiss, then begins to spread the lube over his fingers. He uses his free arm to help Yuri up onto his knees so he can reach back and touch him.

It only takes a few strokes before Yuri is begging, clawing at Otabek's arm behind him.

"Alright, baby" Otabek mouths, pressing his finger in slowly. "Open up for me"

Yuri gasps, pleasure plastered across his face as he takes the first finger down to the knuckle. Otabek tests him with a few deep pushes, then adds the second finger. There's more resistance from Yuri's body this time, but he manages it with a gentle rock of his hips as he takes more each time.

"God, _Yuri_ " Otabek groans. "Good boy"

"Beka" Yuri whimpers, fingers digging into Otabek's shoulders to ground himself.

"Hm? Does it feel good?"

Yuri nods frantically, joining their mouths in a heated kiss. His body feels less tense now, letting Otabek push in harder and panting with the rhythm.

He feels pressure build in his abdomen as Yuri's hands start to pull at his belt. He shifts his weight from the bed, giving him an easier time pulling them down.

"I want it" Yuri pants, riding Otabek's fingers almost with ease. He can't refuse him, not with the way he looks right now, cheeks flushed deep pink and hair in a beautiful mess. 

"Alright" Otabek says, pulling out and helping to manoeuvre Yuri into a better position. He lays him down beneath him so they can be face to face, but when he looks down at those sparkling green crystals he feels a slight hesitance creeping in.

"Y'know... if you're just doing this because it's our last night-"

"I'm not" Yuri pushes, wrapping his arms around Otabek's neck and pulling him into a kiss. "It's not that, I've wanted this for a long time"

"Okay. As long as you're sure" he says, then shifts Yuri's legs. They come up to meet his shoulders without strain, and Otabek silently thanks the years of ballet that Yuri has endured to reach this level of flexibility. 

"Slow, baby" he whispers as he coats himself with more of the lube and finds Yuri's entrance. "Nice and slow, alright?"

Yuri nods, holding onto him tight.

He pushes in barely an inch, watching closely for signs of any pain.

Yuri winces slightly, but his eyes look sure.

"More" he breathes.

Otabek complies, pulling out, then in again this time a little deeper.

He repeats the same motions, stroking Yuri's face through the tension. He feels amazing.

"Oh, _fuck_ " he moans as he finally sinks his whole length in. "You doing okay?"

Yuri nods, lip drawing between his teeth and finger nails clawing Otabek's back hard enough to break the skin.

He moves agonisingly slow, struggling to steady himself but desperate to save Yuri from as much pain as possible. Telling by Yuri's face he doesn't seem to be suffering much, but his body still feels tense around him.

After a few more slow thrusts Yuri starts to grind with him, pushing down and giving Otabek more friction to work with.

Otabek rushes to press his mouth to his, sharing tender kisses as he fights with his self control.

"Beka" Yuri groans. "Just fuck me already"

"Are you sure?" Otabek pants. He's suddenly very aware that he hasn't even taken his clothes off, jeans pushed part of the way down his legs and shirt coated in a thin layer of sweat.

"Yes, Beka _please_ " he whimpers. "Please, plea-"

They groan as Otabek thrusts harder, hips rutting together as he fucks him.

" _Yura_ , you take me so fucking good" he growls, arms tightening on his legs for better grip. "My dirty little kitten"

He brings a hand to Yuri's face, stroking his jaw then twisting into his hair.

"Give me it, Beka" Yuri begs. "Please"

He doesn't need to be told twice.

He fucks Yuri into the mattress, hand tight in his hair and the other holding onto his thigh.

"Touch yourself, baby" Otabek pants his command.

Yuri's hand shoots down to his cock and he brings himself to the edge in time with Otabek's thrusts. Once Otabek's hand retires from his hair he takes over, tugging Yuri carefully as he takes him.

"Ca-can I cum?"

Otabek nods.

Watching Yuri cum, feeling it happen around him, is the most erotic thing he's ever witnessed.

He finishes just seconds after, keeling over and gasping in Yuri's ear as he fills him.

He wastes no time, carefully pulling out as not to disturb Yuri's tender skin, easing his legs down then ducking his head.

He holds Yuri by the hips and licks long stripes up his stomach, cleaning the hot mess left behind by Yuri's own orgasm. He finds it somewhat therapeutic, taking solace in the taste of his lover as he laps him up. At some point Yuri's fingers touch his head, stroking back through his hair in soothing patterns as he watches.

When he moves back up to meet Yuri he's greeted with a tender kiss.

"It wasn't too much?" Otabek asks.

Yuri shakes his head.

"You sure?"

"Yes Otabek, I'm sure" he sighs, laying his head back against the headboard. "It was perfect"

Otabek rests his head on Yuri's chest, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"And..." Yuri starts.

"And?"

"I love you"

 

* * *

 

They spend the next morning sharing gentle kisses beneath the sheets, Otabek whispering sweet words to Yuri in his native language. The way his tongue curves around the words makes Yuri's pulse raise, his accent thick and smooth in his ears.

"What did you say just then?" Yuri asks, looking up at his lover. He lays facing Otabek, eyes fluttering with adoration as his hair is stroked softly with rough fingers.

"It's difficult to translate" Otabek explains, switching back to English.

"Try" he persists. He knows whatever he had said was bound to be tender and romantic. Otabek's tone was more telling of his emotions when he spoke in Kazakh.

"I suppose it would mean... I wasn't truly living until I met you" he flushes, planting a kiss on Yuri's forehead.

It's moments like these in which Yuri can't believe this man is real.

"You corny bastard"

Otabek frowns, tucking an arm beneath Yuri's head to hold him closer.

"I like it" Yuri elaborates. "But you had a life before me, Hero of Kazakhstan"

Otabek smiles and he's sure he feels his heart skip a beat.

"Yes. It's not to be taken so literally, Yura. I do have a life, at home I have my mother, my sister. I have friends" he sighs, fingers combing through Yuri's tangles. "But when I am with you... that's when I'm truly myself. Truly happy"

They stay quiet a moment. Sometimes Yuri doesn't know how to express his feelings with words. Instead he chooses to plant kisses along Otabek's jawline, trailing his hand up and down the olive skin of his chest.

"I don't want to be alone" Yuri whispers.

"You're not alone. By the time you get back from Moscow Viktor and Yuuri will be here" Otabek shifts his weight to lay on his side, pulling Yuri to his chest.

"You know what I mean"

"Yes, I know what you mean. You don't want me to go, you don't want to live in this lifeless apartment by yourself" Otabek sighs "but I will call you every day, you can complain to me about Yakov's regime and Lilia's nagging. And when you're sad you can cry to me. And when you're feeling lonely..."

He moves his fingers from Yuri's back to his waist and pulls his hips close.

"Then you can send me pictures of your beautiful body and I will shower you with praise" he mouths, kissing his head through sweaty hair. "And we can do video calls, late at night..."

Yuri shivers, hands finding Otabek's abdomen and stroking the sensitive muscles there.

Otabek tuts, quickly removing his hands.

"We don't have time, kitten" he breathes, stroking Yuri's arms up and down with his fingers.

Yuri groans, but nods.

Sometimes facing the world without Otabek feels like leaving for war, but he can face it.

He is a soldier, after all.

 

* * *

 

  **3 Years Later**

 

Yuri strokes the inside of the grey material with the pad of his thumb. Otabek's smell is strong on the old garment. Despite him wearing it more often than it's owner, it still feels like Otabek's and not his.

The brisk winter wind picks up, whisking his hair from his face and biting at his skin. He leans against the cab, impatient fingers looking for anything available to fiddle with.

His hands are soon occupied by the bundle of warmth hesitantly passed into his arms.

" _Remember to call us every morning and every night, and don't forget she likes the night light on all night but do check on her -You know I've read so many stories about fires starting because of night lights - and please make sure she drinks all of her milk, she hasn't put on much weight this month and-_ "

"Vitya, he knows what he's doing" Katsuki reassures his husband with a hand on his shoulder. "We have to leave or we'll miss our flight"

"Oh!" Viktor wails, leaning down to plant a kiss on his baby daughter's head. "Take care of our angel, won't you Yurio. Make sure she knows her daddy's miss her every day"

Tears well in the older man's eyes as he begins to back away.

"Stay safe Yuri, we'll see you in three days!" Yuuri smiles, rubbing Viktor's shoulders as they get into the cab.

Yuuri cradles Viktor's head on his shoulder as they drive away, leaving Yuri feeling slightly awkward as a gaping neighbour watches on from across the street.

He enters the house with baby in arms, shaking the snow off his trainers and shoving them to one side.

"Hey, Beka" he calls, the warmth from the Katsuki-Nikiforov house soon allowing his face to recover from the St Petersburg weather. "Promise me, if we ever have children, that you'll never end up like that"

Otabek laughs, rising from the sofa to meet his boyfriend.

Yuri leans in for a kiss before passing Yulia over, watching on as Otabek coos like a jackass.

It's fucking adorable.

Yulia, now much more conscious, reaches out a tiny, stubby hand and grabs at Otabek's stubble. She makes a face, almost as if to bare her teeth at him, and Yuri smiles.

"She spends too much time with you" Otabek chuckles, then places her in a day cot at the far end of the room.

"She doesn't spend enough time with me" Yuri corrects him. "I don't want to see her grow up a babbling idiot. She needs influences in her life other than Viktor and Yuuri"

When Viktor first informed him that he and Yuuri planned to adopt he had been hesitant. Children suck, and they make him uncomfortable. His feelings changed the second he met her, bright green eyes and blonde tufts of hair reminding him of no one other than himself.

 _She looks like Yurio,_ Viktor had told Yuuri in the hospital as they left the birthing room. _We should name her something similar._

Katsuki didn't seem keen on the idea, but Otabek's name suggestion had them both in an instant, along with an addition to tie in both cultures and honour a close friend. Yulia-Yuuko Katsuki-Nikiforov. It was a mouthful, but fitting. A name that demanded as much attention as her father's did.

Yuri found himself taken back by Otabek's intense gaze as he turned to face him.

"You are correct" he stated, arms wrapping Yuri up and pulling him close. "It would be nice to see some of your fierceness rub off on her"

Yuri can't help but grin. The thought of he and Yulia teaming up against her father's to pull pranks was something he hoped he could look forward to.

"I am having the last of my things brought over next week"

"And then it's done?" Yuri asks, looking up with hopeful eyes.

"Then it is done. We officially co-own your apartment" he says, fingers stroking along Yuri's undercut. The longer section of his hair is tied up, leaving the shaved underneath exposed. "I miss your hair"

"Hey, I did leave you some" he smirks, pressing his forehead to Otabek's chest. "If you stopped tugging at it so hard maybe I wouldn't have had to shave half of it off"

"You love it when I pull your hair" he says, tugging ever so slightly at his pony tail to bring him back and look upon his face. "You mewl like a little kitten"

Yuri's face flushes, but he doesn't break eye contact. "I guess"

 

* * *

 

Yulia is a heavy sleeper, something Otabek can't be more thankful for. He loves the child, would protect her with his life, but screaming babies unsettle him to his core.

Yuri sleeps silently, head in his lap on the couch. They'd been watching some old competition videos, reminiscing in the past of their careers. The footage currently playing was that of himself, the year he won gold for Kazakhstan. Pride beams in his heart every time he looks back. He remembers the way he had hugged Yuri so tight. The way he had fought back tears with the overwhelming surge of emotions as he spoke to his mother over the phone.

The next skate to play is Yuri's exhibition - 'Welcome to the madness'. He can hardly hold in his laughter as he admires Yuri's form and finesse. Always the soul of a tiger, even at that age.

Yuri stirs, opening his eyes in a surge of confusion. He soon settles as Otabek runs his fingers over his hair.

"What are you laughing at, asshole?"

Otabek smiles, then nods to the screen.

He feels Yuri squirm with discomfort, before sitting up and reaching for the remote.

"Wait, this is my favourite part!" Otabek snaps, pulling the remote from Yuri's hand and chuckling.

"I hate you" Yuri snorts, refusing to look at the screen.

He finally decides to give him some peace, pausing the video and pulling Yuri into his lap.

"Does this embarrass you, my love?"

Yuri folds his arms.

"Moody kitten" he smirks, planting soft kisses on his forehead.

"Whatever" he scoffs "it took balls to go through with that. I don't regret a single thing"

Otabek tilts Yuri's head back towards him, kissing his lips softly.

"It did. It was your rebellious spirit that drew me to you, even then" he says, hoping his genuine comment cools his tiger's temper.

"And my eyes. Eyes of a soldier" Yuri adds, unfolding his arms to lean in closer.

"Yes and your eyes"

They stay seated like that for a while, Yuri cuddled up close stealing his body heat. He breathes in the scent emitting from his scalp, filling his lungs with heat.

"Yuratchka" he breathes, barely a whisper.

Yuri takes a moment before nodding in response.

"We could do it, you know"

"Do what?"

When Otabek doesn't answer he lifts his head, cupping his face between warm fingers.

"We could do this" he gestures to the space around them. "Make our love... more permanent"

"Our love is permanent" Yuri almost growls.

"I know" Otabek is quick to defend his words. "I know that, what I'm saying is... we could - if you wanted to - we could... marry" he stumbles in a very awkward, un-Otabek like manner. 

Yuri glares at him with wide eyes.

"Is this meant to be some kind of proposal?"

Otabek shakes his head. "Of course not! Don't be stupid"

"Good" Yuri says, burying his head back in Otabek's shirt.

He feels a slight sinking feeling, but it doesn't last long.

"Because when you propose to me, I want the whole thing. None of this _we could do it_ bullshit. I want you to take me out to a stupid fancy restaurant that we both know we're too fucking cool for, and I want you to get down on one knee and declare your undying love for me before the whole room. I want a ring. A big ring that sparkles in the light so I can shove it in Yuuri's face-"

Otabek takes a breath, but Yuri isn't done.

"-Then I want you to take me to our home and make me cum as many times as you can, and then some more. And I want to be married in the winter so we have an excuse to rent out a ridiculously pretentious hall for the reception and make everyone feel like they have to dress all fancy to fit in. And our wedding night will be the best night of both of our lives, enough so that neither of us will be able to walk the next morning. And when we have enough cats and a big enough house maybe we can even get a brat or two, so Yulia has somebody to play with and your sister can babysit when she visits"

Silence takes over the room. Otabek feels his heart beating like a drum against his chest.

"So don't tell me that we could do it, because I already know that. I've known it for a while, and you have too. Just get on with your fancy proposal so we can start our damn life together"

After a few more beats of silence Otabek decides he doesn't need to say much at all.  He simply nods, and kisses Yuri's head.

"As you wish"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for the support I have received whilst writing this fic! <3  
> I look forward to the future fics I have planned, I hope you do too. 
> 
> Much love, HyperionHero.
> 
> Twitter: xgrimesrick  
> Tumblr: hyperion--hero.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: xgrimesrick  
> Tumblr: hyperion--hero.tumblr.com


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